Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The charts describing the changes in the population of five districts of Newyork cirty i.e manhattan , bronx, brooklyn, queens and staten island over the period of three centuries.
Overall, Manhattan's contribution in the total number of population of newyork city declined over the time. While, other districts experienced significant increase in the masses.
In 1800, manhattan had the large number of people with 76% of total population of Newyork city as other four districts only shares 24% of the total number.
Manhattan 's share in the overall population slightly declined in the 1900 as it reached 54%. In contrast, other districts had nearly doubles the number of residents with 46 % campare to previously 24% in the 1800.
As Newyork city reached the 8 million mark in 2000, with other four districts largely contain 81% of the total population , while Manhattan contibution reduced to only 19% of the total number.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main trends and provides relevant data comparisons. You successfully identified the shift in population distribution from Manhattan to the other four districts. However, the task requires a summary of the total population changes as well, which is only briefly mentioned in the final paragraph. To improve, ensure you explicitly describe the growth of the total population from 1800 to 2000, as shown in the first table. While the key features are highlighted, the analysis of the total population growth is underdeveloped, which prevents a higher score in this criterion.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'While', 'In contrast', and 'As', which help guide the reader. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and punctuation errors, such as the lack of capitalization in proper nouns like 'Newyork' and 'manhattan'. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is clear, but the internal cohesion within sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect the data points more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey the main trends. You use terms like 'contribution', 'declined', and 'significant increase' appropriately. However, there are several spelling errors, such as 'Newyork', 'cirty', 'campare', and 'contibution'. Additionally, the phrase 'increase in the masses' is slightly unnatural in this context. To reach a higher band, you should focus on accurate spelling and using more precise academic collocations, such as 'proportion' instead of 'contribution' or 'share'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, particularly with capitalization (e.g., 'manhattan', 'bronx') and subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'other four districts only shares'). Some sentences are slightly fragmented or lack necessary articles, such as 'in the 1900' instead of 'in 1900'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the overall clarity of the writing. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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