Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The table graph provides the data of the cumulative population of New York City in the given period of 1800, 1900 and 2000 respectively along with the variations in the population of five major districts namely Manhattan and Other cities including Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and Staten Island.
Overall, It is evident that the combined population in all the cities was highest in the year 2000 whereas, it was lowest in the year 1800. Although the highest head count in Manhattan was in 1900 and in the year 2000 the population of other cities witnessed a threefold increase.
To begin with, it is noticeable that the percentage of Manhattan total population in 1800 was 76% with 60,515 individuals however; in the same year the percentage of other cities was only 24% with 18,701 counts. Moving towards 1900, the total population % was 54% which was 8% higher than the other cities, and the individual count was 1,850,093 and 1,587,109 individually. Highlighting the final year 2000, the total population stood at 19% with 1,538,096 head counts but for other cities like Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and Staten Island, it was surged to 81% resulting to 62% increase with 6,471,089 people.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers the main features of the data, including the overall population growth and the shift in distribution between Manhattan and the other districts. However, the analysis is somewhat hampered by inaccuracies in interpreting the data. For instance, you describe the 2000 population as '19% with 1,538,096 head counts', but the table shows the total population was 8,008,278, not 1.5 million. Additionally, the comparison of percentages is slightly confusing. To improve, ensure you clearly distinguish between the total population figures and the individual district figures, and double-check your data extraction to ensure the numbers cited match the provided tables accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and a body paragraph. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moving towards', and 'Highlighting the final year' are used to guide the reader through the chronological data. However, the transition between the overview and the body paragraph is slightly abrupt. The referencing is generally clear, though some sentences are slightly cluttered with data, which makes the flow feel a bit mechanical. Using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'cumulative population', 'variations', and 'witnessed a threefold increase'. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'table graph' (it is either a table or a graph) and 'head counts' (which is slightly informal for this context). There are also minor issues with precision, such as 'surged to 81% resulting to 62% increase'. Focusing on more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring accurate collocations will help you reach a higher band score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'the combined population in all the cities was highest' (referring to the total population of NYC) and 'the percentage of Manhattan total population... was 76%'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of semicolons and commas. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that complex sentences are constructed with correct grammatical subordination to avoid run-on or fragmented ideas.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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