Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given tables illustrate the population of New York City, and the population of five districts of the city from 1800 to 2000.
Overall, it is clear that the number of residents recorded in 2000 was the highest, whereas the lowest population was noticeable in 1800. In addition, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, and Staten Island had the maximum percentage of population.
The highest number of all five districts population was recorded in 2000, 8,009,185, while the figure decreased to 3,437,202 residents in 1900. Moreover, the lowest population was noticeable in the year 1800, with 79,216 people.
In 1800, 60,515 population represented 76%. Furthermore, 54% of the population rose to 1,850,093 in 1900, while the proportion of population fell to 19% ,with 1,538,096 population. The percentage of other districts (Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) stood at 18,701, with 24% in 1800. The population of the other districts rose from 46% (1,587,109 residents) in 1900 to 81% (6,471,089 residents) in 2000.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response provides an overview and selects some key data points, but it fails to effectively compare the trends across the five districts. The description of the data is often confusing; for example, stating that 'Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, and Staten Island had the maximum percentage of population' is vague and does not clearly contrast them with Manhattan. Furthermore, the data interpretation in the final paragraph is difficult to follow, as the figures provided do not clearly align with the provided tables. To improve, you should focus on clearly grouping the data (e.g., Manhattan vs. the other four districts) and ensuring that the figures cited are accurately linked to the specific years and categories mentioned in the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression within them is weak. While some cohesive devices like 'Moreover' and 'Furthermore' are used, they do not always connect ideas logically. The referencing is often unclear, particularly when discussing the 'other districts' versus the total population. The transition between the general population trends and the specific district data is abrupt. To achieve a higher band, ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and that the relationship between sentences is explicit, helping the reader follow the comparison of data points across the two-century period.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is limited and somewhat repetitive. Phrases like 'the number of residents recorded' and 'the figure decreased' are used, but there is a lack of precise terminology to describe statistical trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'surpassed,' or 'accounted for.' There are also issues with word choice, such as 'the lowest population was noticeable,' which is not a natural collocation in this context. To improve, try to incorporate more varied vocabulary related to data reporting and ensure that terms are used accurately to describe the specific changes in population figures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. For instance, '60,515 population represented 76%' is grammatically awkward, and there are issues with article usage and prepositional phrases throughout the text. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly around the use of commas and spaces. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct placement of numerical data within sentences will help improve the overall accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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