Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The table graph provides the data of the cumulative population of New York City in the given period of 1800, 1900 and 2000 respectively along with the variations in the population of five major districts, namely Manhattan and Other cities including Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and Staten Island.

Overall, it is evident that the combined population in all the cities was highest in the year 2000 whereas, it was lowest in the year 1800.

To begin with, it is noticeable that the percentage of Manhattan total population in 1800 was 76% significantly with 60,515 individuals, however in the same year the percentage of other cities was plummeted to 24% with 18,701 counts. Moving towards 1900, the total population percent was 54% which was 8% higher than the other cities, and the individual count was 1,850,093 and 1,587,109 individually. Highlighting the final year 2000, the total population stood at 19% with 1,538,096 number of people but for other cities like Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and Staten Island, it was surged to 81% resulting to 62% increase with 6,471,089 people. Although the highest population figure in Manhattan was in 1900 and in the year 2000 the population of other cities witnessed a threefold increase.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers the main features of the data, including the overall population growth and the shifting proportions between Manhattan and the other districts. However, the analysis is somewhat marred by inaccurate reporting of the data. For instance, you state that the population of 'other cities' plummeted to 24% in 1800, but the table shows this as the starting point. Furthermore, the description of the 2000 data is confusing; you mention a '62% increase' which is not clearly derived from the provided figures. While you identify the main trends, the lack of precision in interpreting the statistical data prevents a higher score. Ensure you double-check the figures against the source material to avoid misrepresenting the data.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview, and a body paragraph. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moving towards', and 'Highlighting the final year' are used to guide the reader through the chronological progression. However, the transition between the overview and the body paragraph is slightly abrupt, and some sentences are structurally dense, making the flow feel mechanical. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the internal cohesion within the final paragraph could be improved by better linking the comparison between Manhattan and the other districts to avoid the slightly disjointed conclusion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'cumulative', 'variations', 'witnessed', and 'surged'. However, there are instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'the percentage... was 76% significantly' and 'the total population percent was 54%'. The phrase 'other cities including Brooklyn...' is slightly inaccurate as these are districts, not separate cities. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band score. Focus on using collocations more naturally and ensuring terminology is accurate to the context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity, such as 'the percentage of other cities was plummeted' (passive voice error) and 'resulting to 62% increase' (preposition error). Additionally, the sentence 'Although the highest population figure in Manhattan was in 1900 and in the year 2000 the population of other cities witnessed a threefold increase' is a fragment or poorly structured complex sentence. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors suggests a need for more careful proofreading and a better grasp of complex sentence construction.

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