Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
two given bar charts demonstrates the changes in total population of new York city and population of other districts. here is a complete breakdown of of given charts. in new York city there are 5 cities mentioned in the given chart with their complete percentages.
bar charts illustrates that in the year of 1800 population were recorded as 79,21 while in 1900 and 2000 it crossed from 3,437,202 to ,009,18. furthermore the there is a visible difference of population has been recorded from year 1800 to 2000. Manhattan population is recorded as 76% to 54% and in 2000 it has reached to 1,538,09 which is 19%. in comparison to other cities it can be seen that percentages have been increased from 24% to 81%. total of ,471,089 population has increased in Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and Staten island. this is the complete summary of the given information in the bar charts.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to adequately report the main features of the data. While it mentions the total population and the five districts, the data points provided are often inaccurate or confusingly presented (e.g., ',009,18'). The summary lacks a clear overview of the trends, such as the significant growth in the total population or the shifting proportions between Manhattan and the other boroughs. The information is presented in a fragmented way, making it difficult to identify the key comparisons requested by the prompt. To improve, you must ensure data accuracy and focus on highlighting the most significant changes rather than listing isolated figures.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The essay lacks a logical structure. It is written as a single, dense paragraph, which hinders readability. There is a lack of clear progression; the transition between the total population and the district-specific data is abrupt. Cohesive devices are used in a very mechanical and sometimes incorrect manner, such as the repetitive use of 'in the year of' and 'in comparison to'. Paragraphing is absent, and the overall flow is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the intended comparison of the data over the two-century period.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. The student relies on basic terms like 'changes', 'recorded', and 'increased'. There are several instances of inaccurate word choice and poor collocation, such as 'crossed from' to describe population growth and '5 cities' when the prompt refers to districts/boroughs. Furthermore, there are significant issues with the representation of numbers, which are not clearly written or formatted, leading to confusion. To achieve a higher band, you need to use a wider range of vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'accounted for', or 'experienced a surge'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'bar charts illustrates'), missing articles, and incorrect sentence structure. Punctuation is also problematic, particularly with the formatting of numbers, which are often missing digits or include unnecessary commas. The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. The lack of control over basic grammar, combined with the frequent errors in number representation, makes the text difficult to interpret accurately.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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