Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The first table display from 1800 to 2000 changes in the Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Overall, it can see that the highest numbers of population all the five districts in 2000 and lowest figures of population in New York City in 1800.
Firstly, in Manhattan, the highest numbers of population in 1800 are 76%, and then numbers of ratio are fall down in 2000 just over 19%. The numbers of people are increasing in 1900 is 1,850,093.
Secondly, the populations of other districts (Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) in 1800 the population are 18,701 and percentage is 24%. In the next year 1900 the large numbers of population are climbing reach at 46%. Likewise, in the next year 2000 the ratio is increased almost double 46% to 81%.
Thirdly, the populations in all five districts are increasing after the 1800-to-2000-year, first year population is 79,216, second year numbers of population are 3,437,202, and in the final year 2000 are 8,009,185.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response attempts to summarise the data but fails to clearly present the main features. The introduction is garbled and includes irrelevant text from the prompt. While the response identifies some figures, the interpretation of the data is often inaccurate or confusing, such as the claim that Manhattan's population was 76% in 1800. The comparison between the total population and the district-specific percentages is poorly integrated, making it difficult for the reader to follow the trends. Key information, such as the specific population growth of individual districts, is largely missing or misstated, leading to an incomplete overview of the provided tables.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Thirdly' is mechanical and does not effectively link the ideas. There is a lack of clear referencing; for example, it is often unclear which data points the student is referring to. The sentences within paragraphs do not flow logically, and the overall structure feels disjointed, which hinders the reader's ability to follow the comparison of the population changes over the two-century period.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The range of vocabulary is very limited and often repetitive. The student relies on basic terms like 'numbers of population' and 'increase', which are used incorrectly in several contexts. There are significant issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'numbers of ratio are fall down' and 'climbing reach at'. The lack of precision in describing statistical trends (e.g., using 'numbers' to describe percentages) significantly limits the ability to convey information accurately. The vocabulary is insufficient to describe the data with the necessary clarity for an academic task.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are persistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The first table display', 'population are 18,701'), incorrect verb tenses, and awkward sentence structures. Complex sentence attempts are rare and usually contain errors, such as 'the populations in all five districts are increasing after the 1800-to-2000-year'. Punctuation is also inconsistent. The high frequency of basic errors makes the text difficult to read and demonstrates a lack of control over fundamental grammatical structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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