Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The first table illustrate the changes in the total population of New York city from 1800 to 2000. the second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens ,State island)over the same period.
Overall ,in New York ,Manhattan and in other districts type population was captured highest in 2000 whereas in year 1800 it raised lowest population. In Manhattan the percentage of total population was raised highest in year 1800 whereas lowest in year 2000.
Firstly, in New York city included all five districts where the population during 1800 raised 79,216 whereas in 1900 it had came about 3,437,202 and another year that is 2000 the population was raised about 8,009,185. Moreover, in the Manhattan, the population was captured about 60,515 during the year,1800 and the percentage of the total population raised 76%. In another year 1900, the population had only 1,850,093 by which the total percentage recorded about 54%. Last year 2000 the population has 1,538,096 and the total population % came about 19%.
During year 1800, the other district population accounted for 18,701 and total percentage captured only 24%. moreover in year 1900, the population increase at about 1,587,109 and total percentage of population raised 46%. But in year 2000 the population number slightly increase at about 6,471,089 and percentage of total population raised to 81%.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the data, such as the overall population growth and the shift in proportions between Manhattan and the other districts. However, the analysis is hampered by significant inaccuracies in reporting the data. For instance, you state that the population 'raised' (increased) in 1800, which is a misuse of the term, and the description of the trends is sometimes confusing. While you identify the main trends, the lack of precision in interpreting the figures and the failure to clearly compare the specific districts (other than grouping them as 'other') limits the depth of the response. To improve, ensure you accurately describe the data points and provide a more nuanced comparison between the five districts rather than just two categories.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'another year that is 2000' and 'in another year 1900' are repetitive and unnatural. The transition between the general population data and the district-specific data is somewhat abrupt. While there is an attempt to use linking words such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', and 'During', they are not always used to create a logical flow of ideas. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring they are used to connect ideas rather than just list them would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary range is limited and often repetitive. You frequently use the word 'raised' to describe population growth, which is incorrect in this context; 'increased', 'grew', or 'rose' would be more appropriate. There are also issues with word choice, such as 'captured highest' and 'population number slightly increase'. Some terms are used in ways that do not fit the academic style required for Task 1. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise vocabulary related to data trends, such as 'accounted for', 'peaked', 'declined', or 'remained stable', and avoid repeating the same verbs throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with verb tense consistency, such as 'the first table illustrate' (should be 'illustrates') and 'it had came' (should be 'it reached'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and incorrect capitalization. The sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in errors, such as 'by which the total percentage recorded about 54%'. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage for historical data, and basic punctuation rules. A wider variety of error-free complex structures is needed to move beyond a band 5.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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