Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The first table shows the comparison between the population of New York city from year 1800 to 2000, whereas the other two tables show proportion of population in Manhattan and other five districts such as Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island.
In year 1800, there are 79,216 total number of population in all five districts, further dividing them from Manhattan and other districts it has 60,515 population in Manhattan which make 76% of population and 18,701 in other districts which is 24%.. Moreover, in 1900 the total number of population was 3,437,202 where manhattan contains 1,850,093, 76%, total percentage of population which makes other district with 1,587,109 with 46% of population.
Lastly, in 2000 , the highest number of population was seen with 8,009,185 where comparing manhattan and other five district they consist of 1,538,096 and 6,471,089 respectively with 19% in Manhattan and 81% largest amount of proportion from all.
In conclusion largest amount of population was seen in year 2000 and least amount of population was seen in 1800. In contrast Manhattan had increase in population in 1900 and in 2000, other district had largest proportion.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the data, including the total population growth and the shifting proportions between Manhattan and the other districts. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that in 1900, Manhattan accounted for 76% of the population, but then claim the other districts accounted for 46%, which is mathematically impossible as it exceeds 100%. Furthermore, the description of the 2000 data is confusing, as you label 81% as the 'largest amount of proportion' without clearly contrasting it against the earlier years. To improve, ensure that your data points are accurate and that your comparisons are logically consistent.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, moving from an introduction to specific time periods and a concluding summary. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally confusing. For example, the transition 'further dividing them from Manhattan' is awkward. The referencing is also unclear in the second paragraph, where the relationship between the total population and the sub-groups is muddled. While there is an overall progression, the lack of precise linking words and the repetitive structure of the sentences hinder the flow of information. Using a wider variety of cohesive devices would help connect your ideas more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision required for a higher band. You rely on repetitive phrases such as 'total number of population' and 'amount of population'. There are also errors in word choice, such as 'other five districts such as Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island' (which only lists four). The use of 'proportion' is sometimes misused when referring to raw numbers. To improve, try to use more varied terminology for describing trends, such as 'accounted for', 'constituted', 'experienced a surge', or 'remained stable'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Examples include 'In year 1800, there are 79,216 total number of population' (incorrect tense and article usage) and 'other district had largest proportion' (missing articles and pluralization). Subject-verb agreement and article usage are inconsistent throughout the text. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. Focusing on basic accuracy, such as correct verb tenses for past data and proper article usage, will significantly improve your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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