Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The charts depict the information about population changes in New York city and five district of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) between 1800 and 2000.
Overall, the population of the city increased in massive numbers. The percentage of population in four district (Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) of the city is sharply rose. While, the percentage of population is declined in Manhattan district.
In 1800, the population of the city was 79,216, however in 1900, the citizens numbers was dramatically increased to 3,437,202. and peaked at 8,009,185 in 2000. The population was declined in the district of the (Manhattan). In 1800, population was 76%, dropped to 54% after a century. In 2000, the percentage of the population sharply dropped to 19%.
The number of residents in other four (Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) districts was dramatically surged. In 1800, the percentage of the population was 24%, 46% followed by 1900 and massively increased in 2000 at 81%.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the data, including the overall population growth and the shifting proportions between Manhattan and the other districts. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. The description of the population trends for the four districts is slightly inaccurate, as the data provided in the prompt shows varying trends for each, rather than a uniform surge. Additionally, the summary of the percentages in the final paragraph is confusing and lacks precision. To reach a higher band, you should ensure that the data points selected are accurately reported and that comparisons between the districts are more clearly articulated.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as the awkward transition 'While, the percentage of population is declined'. The referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly when referring to 'other four districts' without explicitly linking them to the data provided. The progression of ideas is present but lacks the smooth flow required for higher bands. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one will help improve the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but it is somewhat repetitive and lacks precision. Phrases like 'massive numbers' and 'dramatically surged' are used, but there are errors in collocation and word choice, such as 'citizens numbers was dramatically increased' and 'percentage of population... is sharply rose'. These errors occasionally make the text feel unnatural. To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'proportion' instead of 'percentage' where appropriate, and ensure that verbs and nouns are correctly paired to describe statistical changes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('percentage of population... is sharply rose') and incorrect tense usage ('population was declined'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary full stops in the middle of sentences, such as '3,437,202. and peaked'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement will significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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