Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The table illustrates the advancement in the total population of New York City , Manhattan and other districts from 1800 to 2000.
Overall, In New York City the population gradually increased whereas In Manhattan , Population decreased and other districts showed fluctuations through out the period .
Firstly, In new York city the people growth was stood at 79,216 by 1800 and it climbed sharply approximately [redacted phone] in 2000.
In contrast , the city of new York the Manhattan the population was increased besides that percentage of whole population fell sharply In 1800 accounted for 76% while in In 2000, a noticeable change made up 19% .
Besides that other districts such as Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island showed fluctuations . In 1800, it was around constituted for 24% while in 1900 made up 46% and at the end i is 81% by 2000. The population in these areas faced many ups and downs through out the period .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main trends, such as the overall growth of NYC and the shifting proportions between Manhattan and the other districts. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and occasionally inaccurate. For instance, stating that Manhattan's population 'decreased' is misleading; while its percentage of the total population fell, the absolute numbers actually increased significantly over the two centuries. The summary of the 'other districts' is also somewhat vague, as it groups them together rather than highlighting the specific growth patterns of individual districts like Brooklyn or Queens. To improve, ensure that you distinguish clearly between absolute population figures and percentage shares, and provide more precise data points from the tables to support your observations.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. While some cohesive devices are used (e.g., 'Overall', 'In contrast', 'Besides that'), they are sometimes used incorrectly or feel mechanical. The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly when referring to 'it' or 'these areas', which makes it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between the specific districts and the total population. Improving the use of transition signals and ensuring that each sentence clearly links to the previous one would significantly enhance the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'showed fluctuations' and 'made up' are used multiple times, and there are errors in word choice, such as 'advancement' to describe population growth, which is not the most natural collocation. Some terms are used incorrectly, such as 'accounted for' and 'constituted for', which indicates a lack of precision. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary related to data trends, such as 'surged', 'plummeted', 'proportion', and 'demographic shift', and ensure that these words are used in their correct grammatical context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with article usage (e.g., 'In new York city'), inconsistent capitalisation, and awkward sentence construction (e.g., 'the people growth was stood at'). The attempt to use complex sentences often results in errors, such as 'it climbed sharply approximately 8009185', which lacks a preposition. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas and periods. To improve, focus on basic sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of prepositions when describing numerical data.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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