Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-18
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
New York City have all five districts. And the table shows the years and the population. However we can see the years that start from 1800 to 2000. And the other side we can see the population that start from 79216 to [redacted phone]. So the year 1800 the population of New York City is about to 79216 and in 1900 the population is [redacted phone], Farthermore in 2000 the population is [redacted phone].Then we see the Manhattan of new York is as we do percentage of total. In 1800 we got the percentage is 24% and then if we see the percentage of 1900 population we got 46%. Other hand the last population in 2000 is 81%.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. Furthermore, the content is underdeveloped. While you mention the total population and Manhattan, you omit data for the other four districts (Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, and Staten Island) entirely. The summary lacks a clear overview of the main trends, such as the overall growth of the city or the shifting distribution of the population. To improve, ensure you cover all parts of the prompt, provide a clear summary of key trends, and meet the length requirement to allow for sufficient data reporting.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The response lacks logical organization and paragraphing. The sentences are disjointed, and the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and often misused, such as 'Farthermore' and 'Other hand'. There is no clear progression of ideas; the text reads more like a list of isolated observations rather than a cohesive report. To improve, group related information into distinct paragraphs (e.g., an overview, followed by specific data comparisons) and use linking words like 'whereas', 'in contrast', or 'consequently' to connect your ideas more naturally.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is very basic and repetitive, relying heavily on simple structures like 'the population is'. There are errors in word choice and phrasing, such as 'about to 79216' and 'as we do percentage of total'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to describe trends or data points effectively. To improve, learn specific collocations for describing data, such as 'witnessed a significant increase', 'remained stable', or 'accounted for a proportion of'. Avoid informal phrasing and focus on using precise terminology for statistical reporting.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('New York City have', 'the population... is about to'), incorrect tense usage, and awkward sentence construction. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, as most sentences are simple and repetitive. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and sentence structure. Practice using complex sentences with subordinate clauses to describe the data, and proofread carefully to correct basic errors in tense and punctuation.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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