Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-18
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
THE GIVEN TABLES PROVIDETHE DETAILS OF THE CHANGES IN THE TOTAL POPULATION OF NEW YORK CITY AND THE POPULATIONS OF ITS FIVE DISTRICKS (MANHATTAN, BROOKLYN,QUEENS, STATEN ISLAND)FROM 1800 TO 2000.
ACCORDING TO THE FIRST TABLE, THE TOTAL POPULATIONS OF NEW YORK CITY INCREASED SIGNIFICANTLY SURING THE TWO CENTURIES. AND THIS GROWTH HAPPENED BETWEEN 1800 AND 1900, AFTER THAT THE POPULATION REMAINED RELATIVELY STABLE. MEANWHILE AS PER THE ANOTHER TWO TABLES , AMONG THE FIVE DISTRICTS, MANHANTTAN HAD THE HIGHEST POPULATIONS IN THE EARLY PERIOD. THE POPULATION IN MANHANTTAN ACCOUNTED FOR 76% OF THE TOTAL AMOUNT IN 1800, WHILE THE REMINDING 24% OF INDIVIDUALS CAME FROM ANOTHER FOUR DISTRICTS.
IN 1900 AS PERCENTAGE OF TOTAL POPULATION IN MANHATTAN WAS 54%AND 46% IN OTHER AREA. MOREOVER, 1,538,096 POPULATION HAD IN MANHANTTAN IN YEAR 2000 AND 6,471,089 IN PLACE SUCH AS BROOLYN, BRONX, QUEENS, STATEN ISLAND .
OVERALL, IT IS CLEARLY SEEN FROM THE ALL THE TSBLES THAT MANHATTAN HAD A HUGE POPULATION IN GIVEN YEARS AS COMPARE TO ANOTHER REGION.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the data, including the overall population growth and the shift in distribution between Manhattan and the other districts. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you mention the percentages for 1800 and 1900, you fail to provide a comprehensive comparison of the trends across all five districts or the total population growth in a more analytical way. The conclusion is a bit repetitive and lacks a synthesis of the data. To improve, ensure you highlight the most significant changes, such as the reversal of population dominance between Manhattan and the outer boroughs, rather than just listing isolated figures.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate, such as 'MEANWHILE AS PER THE ANOTHER TWO TABLES'. The transition between the general population trend and the specific district data is abrupt. Additionally, the use of capital letters throughout the entire text is inappropriate for formal writing and makes the text difficult to read. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring proper sentence structure would significantly enhance the flow and logical progression of your ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety expected at higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'huge', 'amount', and 'place'. There are also several spelling errors, such as 'DISTRICKS', 'MANHANTTAN', 'REMINDING', and 'TSBLES'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'proportion', 'demographic shift', or 'predominant', and ensure that you proofread your work to eliminate basic spelling mistakes that distract from your analysis.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that impede clarity. Examples include '1,538,096 POPULATION HAD IN MANHANTTAN' and 'AS PERCENTAGE OF TOTAL POPULATION IN MANHATTAN WAS 54%'. These errors in word order and article usage ('the' is often missing) are frequent. Furthermore, the entire text is written in uppercase, which is a significant error in formal writing conventions. You need to focus on basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles to improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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