Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The bar chart illustrates the data of population from different cities in different years.The fingers of population in percentage that was particularly about masses.
Overall, the most crowded districts was four districts in New York city. However, Manhattan experienced lowest number in 2000.If I compared with others. Therefore, most of the percentage was found in 2000.The total population was sum of all five districts,not only one because all five included in New York city.
First of all, in 2000, the population was huge, around 81% in four districts. This number was almost half in 1900 in same area. Percentage was decreased by 22% in 1800.The proportion was increased queter by queter in Brooklyn,Bronx, Queens and Staten island.
In Manhattan, the figers increased by one third of the 1800 year.
That's was 60,515. Then after 100 years this numbers declined around 18% of the last quarter. It was left only 19% in 2000.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to accurately interpret the provided data. The student struggles to identify the main trends, often misinterpreting the percentages and population figures. For example, the claim that 'Manhattan experienced lowest number in 2000' is not clearly supported by the data, and the description of population changes as 'queter by queter' is unclear and inaccurate. The response lacks a clear overview and fails to make meaningful comparisons between the districts or across the time periods. The information presented is fragmented and does not provide a coherent summary of the tables provided, leading to a failure to address the core requirements of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The introduction is confusing and does not clearly state what the data represents. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often misused or placed awkwardly, such as 'If I compared with others. Therefore, most of the percentage was found in 2000.' This makes the flow of ideas disjointed. Referencing is also unclear, particularly when referring to 'four districts' or 'same area' without specifying which ones. The overall structure does not effectively guide the reader through the data.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate. There are frequent errors in word choice, such as 'fingers of population' instead of 'figures' and 'queter by queter' which is unintelligible. The student relies on basic vocabulary and struggles to use terminology appropriate for describing statistical data. Phrases like 'the population was huge' are imprecise. There is little evidence of an attempt to use a range of vocabulary, and the errors in spelling and word choice occasionally impede the reader's understanding of the intended meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often obscure the meaning. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('the most crowded districts was four districts'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or poorly constructed, such as 'The total population was sum of all five districts,not only one because all five included in New York city.' Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods. While there is an attempt at complex sentence structures, they are consistently faulty, limiting the range and accuracy of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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