Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The given diagram illustrates the population of NEW York CITY including all five districts in recent years ago.
Overall, total population in 1800 A.D is.79216 and 1900 is [redacted phone] and at last in 2000 is 8,009,185 in recent three years population below as shown in figure.
Looking more especially in Manhattan .In recent year 1800 total population was 76%, 1900 was 54% and at last in 2000 total population was 19%. In Manhattan in 2000 A.D population was decreasing slowly and gradually by looking others.Mainly Highest was in 1800 A.D. But looking in others cities like÷ ( Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten, Island) population was in decreasing order mainly in 1800 A.D and 1900 A.D i.e. about 24% and 46%. In 2000A.D population was growing up about 81% in others cities at last instead of Manhattan. This diagram shows that while slowly and gradually day changes population begins start migrate to others districts for getting better facilities.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response attempts to address the task but fails to accurately interpret the data. The summary of the total population is presented in a confusing manner, and the analysis of the district percentages is factually incorrect based on the provided tables. For instance, the claim that Manhattan's population was 'decreasing slowly' is not supported by the data, which shows a significant increase in absolute numbers despite a percentage shift. The response lacks a clear overview and fails to make meaningful comparisons between the districts, resulting in a fragmented and inaccurate report of the main features.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The essay lacks logical progression. Paragraphs are poorly structured, and the connection between ideas is often unclear. Cohesive devices are used incorrectly or are absent, making the text difficult to follow. For example, the transition 'Looking more especially in Manhattan' is followed by a confusing list of percentages that do not clearly relate to the overall trend. The use of punctuation, such as the slash and parentheses, is non-standard and disrupts the flow of information. The overall arrangement of the data is disjointed, failing to guide the reader through the information provided in the tables.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is limited and often used inaccurately. Phrases like 'in recent years ago' and 'growing up about 81%' are unnatural and imprecise. There is a reliance on basic descriptors, and the student struggles to use terminology appropriate for describing statistical data, such as 'decreasing order' or 'total population was 76%'. The repetition of basic words and the misuse of terms like 'migrate' to describe population shifts in this context indicate a restricted range that hinders clear communication of the data trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, tense usage, and sentence structure. For example, 'total population in 1800 A.D is.79216' contains punctuation errors and tense inconsistencies. Many sentences are fragmented or lack the necessary complexity to convey the data accurately. The misuse of articles and prepositions is persistent throughout the text. While the student attempts to use complex structures, these are often faulty, leading to a lack of control over basic grammatical rules.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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