Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
New York City witnessed tremendous population growth between the years 1800 to 2000. It is important to elucidate the major attributes of the City and the attraction facilities that formed the enablers of such population growth from 79,216 populace in 1800 to a growth of 3,437,202 in 1900; a citizen's increase that almost tripled in 2000 with huge number of masses that hit 8,009,185.
Obviously, out of the five districts that made up New York city, Manhattan had most prominent population percentage growth which ranged from 60515 (76%), 1,880,093 (54%) to 1,538,096 (19%). Despite these descedibg order of homo sapiens in the district; the number of people that lived there still out-numbered the total number of those that were living in other districts (Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and Staten Island whose growth were 18,701 (24%), 1,587,109 (46%) to 6,471,089 (81%) in the three decades under review.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you have identified some main features, the analysis is incomplete. You have not clearly contrasted the growth trends across all districts, and the interpretation of the data is somewhat confusing, particularly regarding the percentages provided. The task requires a clear summary of the data presented in the tables; however, your explanation of the 'enablers' of growth is irrelevant to the data provided and constitutes an attempt to explain causes rather than report the figures. To improve, focus strictly on describing the trends and comparing the figures accurately without adding external information.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is divided into two paragraphs, but the logical progression is hindered by unclear referencing and awkward phrasing. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical, such as 'Obviously' and 'Despite these descedibg order'. The transition between the general population growth and the district-specific data is abrupt. The referencing of the data is often confusing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between the districts. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus would significantly enhance the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is somewhat limited and occasionally inappropriate for an academic report. Phrases like 'attraction facilities', 'enablers of such population growth', and 'huge number of masses' are not suitable for describing statistical data. Furthermore, the term 'homo sapiens' is scientifically inaccurate in this context and sounds unnatural. There are also errors in word choice, such as 'descedibg' (spelling) and 'citizen's increase'. To achieve a higher band, focus on using precise, neutral language to describe trends, such as 'significant increase', 'proportion', and 'demographic shift', rather than attempting to use overly complex or informal vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For example, 'whose growth were' should be 'whose growth was', and the sentence structure in the second paragraph is convoluted, making the comparison between districts difficult to parse. Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the misuse of semicolons and the awkward phrasing of the data points detract from the overall quality. You should focus on subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your complex sentences are constructed accurately to avoid confusion.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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