Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The first table delineates the change of the population of the New York city in 1800 to 2000.
on having a look at the graph, it can be observed that new York city firstly in the Manhattan in the year 1800 population was 60,515 and the total percentage at 76%, while in 1900 amount of the population was inclined 1,850,093 as well as percentage at 54%, but the population soot at remanded fell 1,538,096 and total percentage at 19% in the year 2000.
Probing ahead, in the case of other districts Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island firs in the year 1800 the population was 18,701 and percentage at 24%, but in 1900 the amount of global people grew up 1,587,109 and the total percentage at 46%, it is a significant notice that population the people grew up 6,471,089 as well as the percentage at 81% in the year 2000.
overall, the most high population in the year 2000. and most fell percentage of the population in the year 1800.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response attempts to address the task but fails to provide a clear summary of the main features. While it mentions some data points, the selection is disjointed and lacks a coherent overview of the trends. The data interpretation is inaccurate in several places, such as the claim that the population 'soot at remanded fell' or the confusing grouping of the other four districts. The response lacks a clear comparison between the total population and the individual districts, and the overall summary at the end is grammatically broken and fails to synthesize the information effectively. To improve, focus on identifying the most significant trends, such as the overall growth of NYC and the shift in population distribution between Manhattan and the other boroughs.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as 'on having a look at the graph' and 'probing ahead', which are not appropriate for an academic report. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow which data points belong to which category. The final paragraph is particularly disjointed and does not function as a proper conclusion. To improve, use more formal linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus, such as one for the total population and one for the district comparisons.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'soot at remanded fell' and 'amount of global people', which impede clarity. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to describe trends accurately; for example, 'inclined' is used incorrectly to mean 'increased'. The response relies on basic phrasing and lacks the precision required for describing statistical data. To improve, learn specific collocations for describing trends, such as 'experienced a significant increase' or 'accounted for a large proportion of the total'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often obscure the intended meaning. There are issues with sentence structure, such as fragments and run-on sentences, as well as incorrect verb tenses and prepositions. For example, 'the change of the population of the New York city in 1800 to 2000' contains errors in article usage and preposition choice. The lack of punctuation and poor sentence construction make the text difficult to read. To improve, focus on basic sentence structure, ensuring each sentence has a clear subject and verb, and practice using articles and prepositions correctly in an academic context.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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