Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In new York city in late time that was 1800 at that time population was 79,216 in five districts of new york.but with time population increase and became 3,437,202 . This was big change in population.In 2000 population further increase and reached at 8,009,185.New york have five district at that time.Manhattan district have 60,515 population that is 76 percent of total population,in 1900 population extent to 1,850,093 which is 54 percent of total population and in 2000 population decrease and became 1,538,096 which is 19 percent of total population.In other districts like Brooklyn,Bronx,queens,Staten island had 18,701 which is 24 percent of total population but in 1900 there was 1,587,109 that is 54 apercent and in 2000 it became 1,538,096 that is 19 percent of total population

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to summarize the population changes in New York City, but it lacks clarity and detail in reporting the main features. Although it mentions the population figures at various points (e.g., 79,216 in 1800, 3,437,202 in 2000), it fails to provide a clear overall summary or significant comparisons amongst the districts. Some key data is mentioned but not effectively analyzed, leading to a lack of insight into the broader trends, which impacts the task achievement score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The coherence and cohesion of the response are weak. The flow of information is choppy, with abrupt transitions between ideas. For example, the sentence 'In new York city in late time that was 1800...' is poorly structured and lacks proper transition to the following data point. The use of conjunctions or linking phrases to connect ideas and support clearer comparisons is minimal, making it difficult for the reader to follow the narrative logically.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The lexical resource is limited, with repetitive language and some inaccuracies. Phrases such as 'big change' and 'population extent' lack academic appropriateness. The jargon used does not reflect a higher level of vocabulary required for IELTS Task 1. More precise terms could enhance clarity and sophistication, which is crucial if the student aims to achieve a higher band score in this area.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

Grammatical range and accuracy exhibit several issues. The response contains simple sentence structures, and there are numerous errors in subject-verb agreement, tense usage, and punctuation. Phrasing such as 'population increase and became' and 'there was 1,587,109 that is 54 apercent' is grammatically incorrect and hinders communication. These errors significantly detract from the overall impression of proficiency and need to be addressed for improvement.

Overall feedback

While you provide some numerical data about New York City's population, the overall structure and clarity of your response need improvement. Focus on summarizing the main trends rather than listing numbers. Try to group similar data together for better coherence, using linking phrases to connect ideas. Work on expanding your vocabulary to replace common words with more academic equivalents. Additionally, pay attention to grammatical accuracy; practice using correct tense and sentence structures to enhance clarity and sophistication of your writing.

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