Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The illustration gives us information that the population of New York city in the year 1800 and in 1900 it went up all the way from 79k to 3.4million which is a significent jump if we compare it with the Manhattan. It has even lose the number of population by 22% and if we look at the other districts they have increased their number of population by 22% which is no where near the the population growth of New York city.
It is quite evident that the growth of number in New York city is way higher then the others.
Meanwhile the number won’t remain like this in the next decade the numbers of New York remain growing up but not like before, well in Manhattan from the year 1900 to 2000 the numbers drop from 1.8million to 1.5million.If we talk about the other districts there number have a huge jump from 1.5million to all the way 6.4million
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to adequately summarise the provided data. While it mentions the total population growth, the analysis of the five districts is fragmented and inaccurate. The student misinterprets the data, for example, claiming Manhattan 'lost' 22% of its population in a period where the table shows a different trend, and the comparison between the city total and the districts is confusing. The response lacks a clear overview of the main trends, such as the overall upward trajectory of the city and the shifting distribution between Manhattan and the other districts. Key data points are missing or misstated, leading to a failure to cover the requirements of the task effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The response lacks a logical structure. The division into paragraphs is arbitrary, and the progression of ideas is difficult to follow. Cohesive devices are either missing or used incorrectly, such as the repetitive use of 'the numbers' and 'if we talk about'. There is no clear transition between the general city population and the specific district data. The writing feels like a series of disjointed observations rather than a cohesive report. The lack of clear referencing makes it difficult for the reader to understand which data points are being discussed at any given time.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like 'numbers', 'growth', and 'jump'. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'it has even lose the number of population' and 'the numbers of New York remain growing up'. The student struggles to use precise terminology to describe statistical trends, which hinders the clarity of the report. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the information accurately, and the errors in phrasing often make the intended meaning unclear to the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('there number have a huge jump'), tense usage ('the numbers of New York remain growing up'), and sentence structure. Many sentences are run-on or fragmented, such as 'The illustration gives us information that the population of New York city in the year 1800 and in 1900 it went up all the way from 79k to 3.4million'. The lack of control over basic punctuation and complex sentence structures makes the text difficult to read and significantly lowers the overall quality of the writing.
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