Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
the given information shows three tables. first is changed in the total population of New York city from 1800 to 2000. the second and third tables show changes in the population of other district over the same period.
Looking this scenario, we shows five district population which is Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island. New York city have highest population in 2000 and lowest population is 1800 in all five districts.
In 1800, Manhattan have highest population. But, it was decreased in 2000 it is only 19%. in contrast, other districts have highest population in 2000 it is 24% and lowest population in 1800 it is 24%.
But, other districts increased their population in 1900 which is 46% and opposite Manhattan is decreased their population it was 54%. those thing shows and New York city calculated all five district poplulations are also increased in this year.so, it is the details of New York city population.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response attempts to address the task but fails to provide a clear or accurate summary of the data. The description of the trends is confusing and contains significant factual inaccuracies, such as misinterpreting the percentages and the overall population growth. The overview is weak, and the main features are not clearly identified or supported by the provided data. The response lacks a logical selection of information, making it difficult for the reader to understand the actual changes in New York City's population over the two centuries. To improve, focus on identifying the most significant trends—such as the massive overall growth—and use specific data points to support your observations accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The essay is divided into short, disjointed paragraphs that lack a logical flow. The use of cohesive devices is very limited and often mechanical or incorrect (e.g., 'Looking this scenario', 'those thing shows'). The progression of ideas is unclear, and the referencing is often confusing, making it difficult to follow the relationship between the different tables. The lack of effective transition words or logical sequencing between sentences hinders the overall readability of the response. Improving the use of linking phrases and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, unified focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, which limits the ability to convey information precisely. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'first is changed' instead of 'the first shows the change' and 'those thing shows'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to describe trends or data effectively, relying on simple verbs like 'increased' or 'decreased' without the necessary precision for an academic report. To reach a higher band, you should work on using more varied and accurate terminology related to data analysis, such as 'fluctuated', 'experienced a significant rise', or 'accounted for'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Manhattan have', 'New York city have'), incorrect verb tenses, and missing articles. Sentence structures are mostly simple and often contain errors in construction, such as 'in contrast, other districts have highest population in 2000 it is 24%'. There is very little evidence of complex sentence structures, and the punctuation is inconsistent. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb forms, and practicing the use of articles and prepositions in an academic context.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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