Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
INTRODUCTION:
This table give us information about the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000 and other table also shows the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.I thing that if the city are fully developed there is no causes of population, on the other hand if the system is not correct they is a very big problems when the population increases.
MAIN BODY PARAGRAPH 1:
New york city which is famous for its population, as the time increase its population also increases.For example the year 1800 its population is 79,216 and in 2000 its population increases to 8,009,185.
MAIN BODY PARAGRAPH 2:
On the other hand the second table shows the population of Manhattan its population percentage decreases to time.In 1800 its percentage rate is 76% and one year after the percentage is 54% and then decreases to 19%. third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.It's population increases from time to time the year 1800 its population percentage is 24% and one year population increases to 46% and one year later its population is 81%.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response attempts to address the task but fails to provide a clear overview or accurately report the data. The inclusion of personal opinions about urban development in the introduction is irrelevant to an Academic Task 1 report. Furthermore, the data interpretation is significantly flawed; for instance, the student misinterprets the table by stating 'one year after' instead of referring to the decades provided in the source material. The main features are not clearly identified, and the comparison between the districts is confusing and inaccurate. To improve, focus strictly on the data provided and ensure that the trends described match the figures in the tables.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and often misused, such as the repetitive use of 'one year after' and 'the year 1800'. The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is abrupt, and the lack of clear signposting makes the information difficult to follow. Referencing is often unclear, particularly when discussing the 'third tables' which are not properly introduced or linked to the previous data. Improved paragraph structure and a wider range of linking words are necessary to achieve a higher score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like 'increases', 'decreases', and 'population'. There are noticeable errors in word choice, such as 'no causes of population' and 'the system is not correct', which impede the clarity of the message. The student struggles to use precise terminology related to data description, such as 'percentage rate' or 'proportion'. To improve, the student should learn specific collocations for describing trends, such as 'witnessed a significant rise' or 'accounted for a large proportion of'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often obscure meaning. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('This table give us', 'the city are fully developed'), tense usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, such as 'New york city which is famous for its population, as the time increase its population also increases.' The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. To improve, the student needs to focus on basic sentence construction, correct verb forms, and punctuation before attempting more complex grammatical structures.
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