Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The first table illustrates the changes in total population of New York city from 1800 to 2000 and the remain second and third table clarify the changes in population of the five district of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten island).
Overall, the transfer of New York in population in the year of 1800 is 79,216 as well as in the year of 1900 the community is 3,437,202 and further in the year the of 2000 the the populace is 8,009,185.
Moreover, The citizen of Manhattan in the year of 1800 is 60,515 plus as the percentage pf total community is 76%. Furthermore the populace in the year of 1900 is 1,850,093 also the percentage is 54%. As well as in the year of 2000 the inhabitants is 1,538,096 plus the percentage is 19%.
In addition the other distracts In order to that in the year of 1800 the populace is 18,701 furthermore the percentage is 24%. As well as in 1900 the citizen is 1,587,109 plus the percentage is 46% moreover in 2000 the people is 6,471,089 plus the percentage is 81%.
As a result, these all are total changes in population in New York city plus Manhattan as well as other districts (Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten island) in different years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the data, such as the overall population growth and the shifting proportions between Manhattan and the other districts. However, the presentation is somewhat mechanical, relying on a list-like approach to data points rather than a synthesis of trends. While the key figures are included, the analysis lacks depth; for instance, it fails to highlight the significant reversal where Manhattan's majority share shifted to a minority by 2000. The summary is functional but lacks the analytical insight required for a higher band, as it focuses on reporting individual numbers rather than comparing the relative growth rates effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often repetitive and unnatural. Phrases like 'As well as in the year of' and 'plus as the percentage' are used mechanically and do not always create logical links between sentences. The progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed, particularly in the third and fourth paragraphs, where the transition between the data points feels forced. While there is an attempt at an overview, the lack of sophisticated linking words makes the flow of the response feel quite basic and repetitive.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. The student frequently uses basic terms such as 'populace', 'citizen', and 'people' interchangeably, often with incorrect collocations (e.g., 'the transfer of New York in population'). There is a lack of variety in reporting verbs and descriptive language for trends. Phrases like 'plus the percentage' are not appropriate for academic writing. To improve, the student should focus on using more precise terminology related to statistics and population dynamics, such as 'accounted for', 'experienced a decline', or 'proportion', and avoid informal structures that hinder the professional tone of the report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The citizen of Manhattan... is'), incorrect pluralisation (e.g., 'the other distracts'), and awkward sentence construction (e.g., 'In order to that in the year of 1800'). The range of structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with repetitive patterns. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of capital letters in the middle of sentences. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the response from reaching a higher band.
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