Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The table below show change in the total population of NEW YORK From 1800 to 2000. The most population district is Manhattan.
OVER ALL, The First table below show changes in the total population of NEW YORK. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five district of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island ) over the
same period.
First we discuss the total population percentage of all districts in 1800 was 79,216. THE percentage was increase 3,437,202 in 1900. In 2000 the percentage again increase .The percentage was 8,009,185 in 2000. Manhattan population in 1800 was 60,515 and the total percentage of population was 76 percent. In 1900 population was 1,850,093 and percentage of population was 54 percent. In 2000 population was decreases the population was 1,538,096 and percentage of population is 19 percent. The district Manhattan population percentage decrease time by time.
Second we discuss both districts like Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, State Island. In 1800 the population was 18,701 and percentage of population was only 24 percent. In 1900 the population was increase. The population in 1900 was 1,587,109 and percentage of population was 46 percent. In 2000 the percentage was again increase. In 2000 the population was 6,471,089 and percentage of population was 81 percent. All district population increases time by time.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response attempts to address the task but fails to provide a clear summary of the main features. The student copies the prompt instructions into the body of the essay, which is not permitted. The data reporting is inaccurate; the student repeatedly refers to population figures as 'percentages,' which misrepresents the data provided in the tables. Furthermore, the analysis is repetitive and lacks a clear overview or meaningful comparisons between the districts. The data selection is somewhat arbitrary, and the failure to distinguish between raw numbers and percentages significantly impacts the accuracy of the information presented.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The essay lacks a logical structure. The introduction is confusing, and the body paragraphs are poorly organized, relying on repetitive phrases like 'First we discuss' and 'Second we discuss.' Cohesive devices are used in a very mechanical and often incorrect manner. There is no clear progression of ideas, and the paragraphing is ineffective. The referencing is also problematic, as the student struggles to link the data points to the specific districts mentioned in the prompt. The overall flow is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the intended comparison.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. The student frequently uses the word 'percentage' incorrectly when referring to raw population counts. There is a lack of variety in reporting verbs and descriptive language; for example, 'increase' and 'decrease' are used repeatedly without variation. The student also struggles with basic terminology, such as referring to 'State Island' instead of 'Staten Island.' The lexical range is insufficient to convey the information with any degree of precision or academic tone, which is expected for an IELTS Task 1 response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The table below show'), incorrect verb tenses, and awkward sentence construction. Punctuation is inconsistent, particularly with the use of capital letters and spacing. The student relies almost exclusively on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex sentences are marred by errors. The misuse of terminology, such as 'The most population district,' further highlights a lack of control over basic English grammar and syntax.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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