Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The given table illustrates the data regarding the total population of new york from 1800 to 2000 and the second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten
To Embark with it is noticeable that in 1800 the population of New york city was 79,216. Secondly, in 1900 it drastically grows to 3,437,402. Thirdly, in 2000 it doubled by 8,009,185. Next Moving forward to the city Manhattan. In the year 1800 the population of Manhattan was 60,515 and it contribute about 76% to the total population of New york city. After that in 1900 population rises to 1,850,093 and contribute 54% to the total population. Ad hoc, in 2000 the population gradually go down to 1,538,096 and now it only gives 19% to the total population. Now the total of remaining four districts data will be present. In 1800 the population was only 18,701 and 24% to total population. Post hoc, in 1900 population exponentially boost by 1,587,109 and gives 46% to total population.
Overall it becomes apparent that in the year 2000 New york city has the highest population and it is mainly contributed by the four districts brooklyn , bronx , queens , staten islands with 81 % of total population and remaining by the district manhattan
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the data but fails to address all parts of the task. While the total population and Manhattan are discussed, the remaining four districts are grouped together in a way that ignores the specific data provided for each in the tables. The overview is also weak, as it does not clearly highlight the most significant trends across the century. Furthermore, the introduction is incomplete, cutting off mid-sentence. To improve, you must ensure all data categories are represented and provide a more comprehensive summary of the key features rather than just listing numbers.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a logical flow. The use of transition words like 'To Embark with', 'Secondly', 'Thirdly', and 'Post hoc' is mechanical and often misused, which hinders the natural progression of ideas. Paragraphing is present but the structure is disjointed, particularly the abrupt transition to the remaining districts. Referencing is also unclear; for example, the phrase 'the total of remaining four districts data will be present' is awkward and does not effectively guide the reader. Improving the use of cohesive devices and ensuring a smoother transition between paragraphs will significantly enhance the readability of your work.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You rely heavily on basic verbs like 'grows', 'rises', and 'boost'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'contribute about 76% to the total population' (should be 'accounted for') and 'gives 46% to total population'. The use of Latin phrases like 'Ad hoc' and 'Post hoc' is inappropriate for this context and demonstrates a misunderstanding of their meaning. To achieve a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'accounted for', 'fluctuated', or 'experienced a significant increase'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('population... contribute', 'population... rises'), incorrect tense usage ('it doubled by 8,009,185'—the data shows it reached that figure, not doubled), and missing articles ('in 2000 New york city'). Sentence structures are mostly simple, and the attempt at complex sentences often results in errors that impede clarity. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing capital letters for proper nouns like 'New York' and 'Brooklyn'. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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