Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The given pie chat shows that population of new york city; in 1800 the final count of population is only 79,216. which is lesser then other years .meanwhile; in 1900 the total count of population is around 3,437,2020; it's also the highest population of the new yrok city .dur to the corona time this constanly increasing population , is quitly become less because of that kind of health issues peoples are ;suffering more and more and also the population charts are are moving in the decreasing mood .and also it's not good for the city while the other hand the populations of the city in 2000 are around 8,009,185 which is lesser than the all over in last few year
in the other city name as Manhattan the populations count ;in 1800 is about 60,515 and as the percentage rate is only 76%. and as comparing to this city the population is constanly decreasing; such in 1900 its has only 54% and 200 it's has only 19 % this shows that the population of the Manhattan is less then new york city.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to accurately report the data provided. You have included irrelevant external information regarding 'corona time' and 'health issues,' which is not present in the source material. Furthermore, the data interpretation is inconsistent; for instance, you state the 2000 population is 'lesser than the all over in last few year,' which contradicts the provided table showing a clear increase. You have not effectively selected or compared the main features of the five districts, and the overall summary is inaccurate. To improve, focus strictly on the data provided in the tables and ensure your comparisons are mathematically correct based on the figures shown.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay lacks a logical structure. The paragraphs are poorly defined, and the progression of ideas is disjointed. You use punctuation marks like semicolons and periods incorrectly, which disrupts the flow of the text. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link sentences and ideas, making the response difficult to follow. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and use linking words such as 'however,' 'in contrast,' or 'furthermore' to connect your observations. Proper paragraphing is essential for a clear report.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary is limited and often used incorrectly. Phrases like 'decreasing mood' and 'the final count of population is only' are unnatural and imprecise. There are also frequent spelling errors, such as 'chat' instead of 'chart,' 'yrok' instead of 'York,' and 'dur' instead of 'due.' The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the data clearly. You should focus on using accurate terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable,' or 'experienced a significant increase,' rather than relying on basic or incorrect phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'populations of the city in 2000 are'), incorrect verb tenses, and sentence fragments. Punctuation is used erratically, with semicolons and periods placed randomly within sentences. The sentence structures are mostly simple and often contain errors that make the meaning unclear. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct subject-verb agreement, and using standard punctuation to separate independent clauses.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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