Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The first table illustrates the population of a city of New York increased from 1800 to 2000. And remaining tables represents variation in population in different five districts of a New York city.
Overall, population of New York increased with the passage of time. The population of Manhattan declined while the population of other districts increased rapidly.
In 1800, the population of the districts of New York recorded at 79,216 followed by 3,437,202 in 1900. In 2000 the population stood at 8,009,185 making it the highest population year.
The population in Manhattan showed a downward trend, its population decreased from 76% in 1800, and recorded at 54% in `1900 and 19% in 2000, throughout the given time its population decreased.
While in other districts, the population percentage increased from 24% in 1800 which were 18,701 , this figure increased at 1,587,109 in 1900. In 2000, population increased at 81% .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the data, including the overall population growth and the shift in distribution between Manhattan and the other districts. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you mention the percentages for Manhattan, you fail to provide specific data points for the other individual districts, which were clearly presented in the tables. The comparison between the 1800 and 2000 figures is present, but the reporting of the 1900 data is inconsistent. To reach a higher band, ensure that you select and compare key data points across all categories rather than just focusing on the total and the primary district.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. There is a clear progression of ideas from the general population trend to the specific district trends. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive. For example, the phrase 'the population of' is used repeatedly at the start of sentences, which limits the flow. Additionally, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the internal cohesion within the final paragraph is slightly disjointed due to the abrupt inclusion of raw numbers alongside percentages.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely heavily on basic terms like 'increased', 'decreased', and 'population'. While these are accurate, the range is limited. There are some minor errors in word choice, such as 'remaining tables represents' (should be 'represent') and 'highest population year' (which is slightly unnatural; 'year with the highest population' would be better). To improve, try to incorporate more varied verbs and nouns related to data trends, such as 'surged', 'plummeted', 'proportion', or 'demographic shift'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader, such as 'a city of New York' (should be 'New York City'), 'different five districts' (should be 'five different districts'), and 'which were 18,701' (incorrect relative clause usage). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but there are some awkward phrasings, such as 'this figure increased at 1,587,109'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct preposition usage will help improve accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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