Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The first table illustrates changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables demonstrate changes in the population of five different districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn Bronx, Queens, and Staten Island) over the same period.
Overall,
New york city population remains the highest all period of time while Manhattan remains the lowest and other cities are extreme of them.
New york city population was 79,216 in 1800 and increased upto 8,009,185 in 2000 while Manhattan was 60,515 in 1800 with 76% population then declined to 19% in 2000
other cities like Brooklyn bronx queens staten island increased over the period of time like in 1800 population was 24% then in 1900 population was 1,587,109 increased to 46% then In 2000 it was 6,471,089 and increased upto 81% its mean mostly population increased over the period of time
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which negatively impacts the score. While you have identified the main trends, such as the overall growth of NYC and the shifting proportions of the districts, the analysis is somewhat superficial. You have grouped the other four districts together, which is a valid approach, but the lack of specific data points for individual districts (like Queens or Brooklyn) limits the depth of your report. Furthermore, the explanation of the percentages is slightly confusing and lacks the precision required for a high-band response. To improve, ensure you provide a more detailed breakdown of the data and meet the length requirement to fully develop your summary.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a clear paragraph structure. The 'Overall' section is separated by a line break but is not integrated into a proper introductory overview. The use of cohesive devices is very limited; you rely heavily on simple conjunctions like 'while' and 'and'. There is a lack of logical progression between sentences, making the text feel like a list of observations rather than a cohesive report. To improve, use clear paragraphing (Introduction, Overview, and Body Paragraphs) and a wider variety of linking words such as 'In contrast', 'Furthermore', 'Consequently', and 'Regarding the remaining districts' to guide the reader through your analysis.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite basic and repetitive. You frequently use the word 'increased' and 'population' without much variation. There are also issues with capitalization (e.g., 'New york city', 'bronx') and punctuation, which detracts from the professional tone required for an Academic Task 1. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary related to data trends, such as 'experienced a significant surge', 'accounted for', 'witnessed a decline', or 'remained the most populous'. Expanding your range of synonyms will help you avoid the repetitive phrasing currently present in your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains several grammatical errors that impede clarity. There are issues with sentence fragments, such as 'its mean mostly population increased over the period of time', which is syntactically incorrect. You also struggle with subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions. The sentence structures are predominantly simple, with very few attempts at complex sentences. To improve, focus on using a mix of simple and complex structures, and pay closer attention to basic punctuation and capitalization rules. Proofreading for common errors like missing articles ('the population') and incorrect verb tenses will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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