Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The tables show how New York City inculding all five district population had changed between 1800 and 2000.
Overall, it is clear that the total number of population in New York City significantly changed over the period. Manhatan showed the highest number of population, while other disticts had a significant rose at the end of period.
In Manthattan district, the population was at 76%, which makes 60,515 in 1800. While population grows triple in 1900, which was 1,850,093 and had the population of 1,538,096, which constitutes for 19%. By constrast, other districts showed less number of population in 1800, which was 18,701. And in 1900, the number increased dramatically, which was 1,587,109 and makes upto 46% total population. In 2000, number increased immensely for 6,471,089
In 2000, the total number of New york population was accounted for 1,538,096, which was the highest number of all, and it had lowest number of population in 1800, which was 79,216,
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response attempts to summarize the data but fails to accurately report the main features. There are significant factual errors; for example, the student states the population in 1800 was 76% in Manhattan, while the table shows 60,515 people. Furthermore, the data interpretation is confusing, with contradictory figures provided for the same years. The response lacks a clear overview of the trends, and the comparison between the districts is poorly executed. The information is not clearly presented, and the key features of the data are not highlighted effectively, which hinders the reader's understanding of the provided tables.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is illogical and difficult to follow. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In Manhattan district' and 'By contrast', but they are often used incorrectly or do not link the sentences in a meaningful way. The referencing is unclear, particularly when discussing the percentages and population figures, which makes the text feel disjointed. The lack of logical flow between the introduction, the body paragraphs, and the concluding summary makes the overall structure weak and confusing for the reader.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is very limited and often inaccurate. There are frequent spelling errors, such as 'inculding', 'Manhatan', 'disticts', and 'constituents'. The student struggles to use appropriate terminology for describing data trends, relying on repetitive and imprecise phrases like 'significant rose' instead of 'significant rise' or 'increased immensely'. The misuse of vocabulary, such as 'makes 60,515' and 'constitutes for 19%', indicates a lack of control over basic academic collocations, which occasionally causes difficulty for the reader in interpreting the intended meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response contains a high frequency of grammatical errors that impede communication. There are frequent issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'other districts had a significant rose', and incorrect sentence structures, such as 'which makes 60,515 in 1800'. Punctuation is also problematic, with inconsistent use of commas and periods. The student relies on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex sentences are consistently faulty, leading to confusion. The lack of control over basic grammar, including tense usage and prepositional phrases, significantly limits the clarity of the report.
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