Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The tables illustrate changes in the total population of New York City and changes in proportion of population living in the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) between1800 and 2000.
Overall, population living in New York City increased rapidly over the period. In 1800, major portion of people lived in Manhattan and by 2000 majority portion of people spread around other four districts.
In 1800, 79,216 people lived in New York city. At total of 79,216 people, 76% comprising 60,515 people lived in Manhattan and the rest 24% comprising 18,701 lived in other four district. After that it rose significantly where at total of 79,216 people, 54% comprising 1,850,093 people lived in Manhattan and the rest 46% comprising 1,587,109 people lived in other four districts.
By the year 2000, it completely changed, where every districts contained balanced proportion of people, average 20%. In total, 8,009,185 people lived in New York City, where 19% (1,538,096 people) lived in Manhattan and the rest 81% comprising of 6,471,089 people lived in other four districts .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main trends, such as the overall population growth and the shift in distribution across the five districts. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, the student states that in 1800, 79,216 people lived in New York, which is correct, but then claims that in the 'after that' period (presumably referring to 1850 or 1900), the total remained 79,216 while the percentages changed. This is a factual error based on the provided tables. Furthermore, the analysis of the 2000 data is somewhat repetitive. To reach a higher band, ensure that the figures cited accurately reflect the data provided in the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs detailing the data. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'In 1800', and 'By the year 2000' are used to guide the reader. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing, such as 'At total of 79,216 people, 76% comprising 60,515 people lived in Manhattan'. The use of referencing is sometimes mechanical, and the connection between sentences could be smoother to improve the overall progression of ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, using terms like 'proportion', 'illustrate', and 'significantly'. However, there is a lack of variety and some imprecise word choices, such as 'major portion' instead of 'the majority' or 'the largest proportion'. The repetition of 'comprising' and 'lived in' makes the writing feel somewhat limited. To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for 'increase' (e.g., 'soared', 'climbed') and 'distribution' to demonstrate a wider lexical range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'every districts contained' (should be 'every district' or 'all districts') and 'at total of' (should be 'a total of'). Additionally, there are issues with article usage, such as 'in other four district'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall accuracy of the response. A greater focus on subject-verb agreement and pluralisation is needed.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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