Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The table illustrates the change in population from 1800 till 2000 in the New York city. People have been gradually increasing every year. In 1800 its 80k,1900 34million and in 2000 it has been reached to 80million respectively.
The 2 tables below shows the raising of people in the 5 districts of the country. The largest change is been noted in Manhattan over the past several years. In 1800, largest change were noticed of about more than the half, while in 2000 less than the half was been recognized. The last comes 1900 54 percent change is been recorded.
The last table shows the details of the others cities of New York which includes cities like Brooklyn, Queens
and Bronx in which largest changed is been there in 2000, while the lowest is been there is in 1800. So in the recent years many changes have been noticed in the cities.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to accurately report the data provided in the tables. For instance, the student claims the population reached 80 million in 2000, whereas the table shows 8 million. Furthermore, the interpretation of the district data is confusing and lacks precision; the student refers to '54 percent change' and 'more than the half' without clearly linking these to specific figures or trends. The main features are not clearly identified, and the data is misrepresented, which significantly hinders the reader's understanding of the actual trends. To improve, you must carefully transcribe the figures and focus on comparing the growth rates between the different districts rather than making vague statements about 'changes'.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is divided into three paragraphs, which is a positive start. However, the logical progression is weak. The transition between the general population and the district-specific data is abrupt. Cohesive devices are used in a very mechanical and repetitive way, such as the frequent use of 'is been' and 'in which'. The referencing is often unclear, making it difficult to follow the relationship between the data points and the commentary. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'furthermore') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that flows logically from the previous one.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. The student relies heavily on basic phrasing such as 'change', 'people', and 'cities'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'raising of people' instead of 'population growth' and 'others cities' instead of 'other boroughs'. The misuse of terminology makes the report sound unnatural and imprecise. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more specific academic vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuation', 'proportion', 'significant increase', and 'demographic trends', while ensuring that these terms are used in the correct context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The grammar is consistently inaccurate, which frequently impedes communication. There is a persistent misuse of the passive voice ('is been noted', 'was been recognized', 'is been there'), which is grammatically incorrect. Subject-verb agreement is also problematic, such as 'The 2 tables below shows' and 'largest change were noticed'. The sentence structures are simple and often lack the necessary complexity to convey information clearly. To improve, focus on mastering basic verb tenses and subject-verb agreement before attempting more complex structures. Avoid overusing the passive voice, especially when the active voice is more direct and accurate.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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