Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The photo show three table about the changes in the total population of New York City and five district cities from 1800 to 2000.Citiee include Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island, where are main distinct area and foru post growing cities.The populatio in 1800 only have 79,215, almost one out five of 1900, with a exploding growth for one century, excisely have three and half million, but it under estimate and double at 2000. To compare the capital city Manhataan and other four districts, as percentage of total population were listed in table. When in 1800 people crowded together, closely reach to eighty percent. Otherwise, with hundred year gose by, citizen become half and half, with a ratio of fifty four percent and fourty six percent. At the end, in year two thousand, the situation was totally up-side-down between two hundred years ago. Only left nineteen percent in Manhattan, most moving toother districts. More over, by the time streaming, the structure in resiedent is rebuild and transformat.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the main features of the tables, noting the overall population growth from 1800 to 2000 and the shifting percentages between Manhattan and the other districts. However, the data presentation contains significant inaccuracies. For example, the student writes that the population in 1800 was '79,215, almost one out five of 1900', whereas the actual figures are 79,216 and 3,437,202—meaning 1800 is a tiny fraction (about 1 out of 43), not one fifth. Furthermore, key trends are expressed with confusing mathematical claims. While the overview of urban spread from Manhattan to other districts is present, the imprecise reporting of data limits the task response to a Band 5.0 level.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay lacks proper paragraphing, presented as a single dense block of text, which severely hampers the overall organisation and visual flow. Cohesive devices are either misused or absent, leading to abrupt transitions between sentences, such as 'When in 1800 people crowded together...' and 'Otherwise, with hundred year gose by...'. Logical progression is frequently interrupted by confusing referencing and ambiguous pronouns. The relationship between ideas is often obscured by awkward phrasing, placing this aspect of the writing firmly at Band 4.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary range is limited and frequently strained by severe word-choice and spelling errors. Examples include 'Citiee', 'foru', 'populatio', 'exploding growth', 'excisely', 'Manhataan', and 'resiedent'. Phrasing such as 'the situation was totally up-side-down' and 'the structure in resiedent is rebuild and transformat' demonstrates inadequate control over standard lexical items and collocations. While the student attempts topic-related vocabulary like 'population', 'districts', and 'percentage', the density of errors causes considerable strain for the reader, aligning with Band 4.0 descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
Grammatical control is weak throughout the response, featuring a very limited range of accurate sentence structures. The majority of sentences contain major structural errors, missing subjects, or incorrect verb forms, such as 'The photo show three table', 'The populatio in 1800 only have 79,215', and 'with hundred year gose by, citizen become half and half'. Punctuation is largely neglected, and complex sentences are almost entirely absent or rendered incomprehensible by poor syntax. These persistent, frequent errors significantly impede communication and meet the criteria for a Band 4.0 score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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