Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The tablr charts represents the proportion of new york city from 1800 to 2000 . The second and third tables depicts the chnages in the population of the five districts of the city.These cities are Manhattan , Brooklyn , Bronx , Oueens and Staten island at the same period

It is clearly seen that , In the 1800 the population increased 79216 in New york . and next year 1900 the populaton was rose at 3437,202 at same cities of new york .Further, In 2000 the population inclined at 8,009,185 in five different cities of new york . moreover , In second chart the population of Manhattan in 1800 the population was 60525 and the percantage was 76% . afterthat , In 1900 1,850,096 that was 54% . In 2000 the percantage was decline sharply at 19%

moving further ,The rest of the others four districts in 1800 the population was 24% . More the population was inclined at 46% at 1900 . At the end year 2000 the proportion of four districts at increased dramatically 81% .

Overall , It is visibly seem that , The proportion of new york in different districts of the city these are five different districts Manhattan , Brooklyn ,Bronx ,Queens and Staten island increased at the given last year.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.0
Coherence and Cohesion4.5
Lexical Resource4.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy4.0
Overall4.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the main features of the task by reporting overall population changes for New York City and comparing Manhattan with the other districts in 1800, 1900, and 2000. However, the data reporting contains inaccuracies and misreadings of the tables. For instance, the student states that in 1800 'the population increased 79216', which misinterprets the total figure as growth rather than the total count. Additionally, the population for Manhattan in 1900 is cited as 1,850,096 instead of 1,850,093, and percentages are sometimes mixed up with population numbers. While the overall trends—such as the massive growth of the city and the shifting proportion from Manhattan to the other districts—are acknowledged, the lack of precision and awkward data presentation prevent the response from achieving a higher band score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The response is organized into multiple paragraphs, attempting an introduction, body details, and an overall summary. However, logical progression is frequently disrupted by poor cohesion and abrupt transitions such as 'moving further' and 'afterthat'. Paragraphing is poorly controlled, with sentences jumbled together without clear thematic separation. Furthermore, the repetitive use of transitional phrases and faulty referencing (such as referring to districts as 'same cities of new york') detracts from the overall readability. Cohesive devices are either misused or applied mechanically, resulting in an unpolished structure that hinders clear flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and heavily reliant on direct lifting or awkward paraphrasing from the prompt. Words like 'population', 'districts', and 'increase' are repeated frequently without variation. There are numerous lexical errors, such as 'tablr charts', 'percantage was decline sharply', and referring to the boroughs as 'different cities'. Less common lexical items are rarely attempted, and spelling and word-form errors (e.g., 'chnages', 'visibly seem') occur throughout the text, restricting the lexical range to a lower band level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying primarily on simple sentences with frequent structural faults. Complex sentences are attempted but are generally faulty and poorly controlled, such as 'In the 1800 the population increased 79216 in New york .' Punctuation is weak, featuring missing capitalisation, misplaced commas, and spacing errors before punctuation marks. Grammatical errors are frequent—including subject-verb agreement issues, missing prepositions, and incorrect verb tenses ('was rose', 'at increased dramatically')—which consistently cause difficulty for the reader and obscure meaning.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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