Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The each tables illustrates a survey of population in the cities and in the districts form 1800 to 2000. Overall, in the first table shows growth of residents in five districts, New York city. While, the other table has detail percentage of indiviuals in the cities: Mantattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and Staten Island from 1800 to 2000.

In 1800, total numbers of population count was 79,216 in the New York City, which survey of five districts. However, accorinding to calculation in 2000, there is an increased in numbers of indiviuals by 8,009,185.

While, in Manhattan the porprotion was with 76%, with 60,515 population in 1800. As, the numbers of population grow more by 2000, the percentage was redeuced by 19% compare to all other cities. In contrast, the cities like Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, and Staten Island have rised in percentage at 81, by 2000.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The student attempts to address the task by reporting data from the provided tables regarding New York City's population from 1800 to 2000. However, the response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words (stopping at 144 words), which directly impacts task completion. While some main features are mentioned, such as the overall population growth and Manhattan's decreasing percentage compared to other districts, the data reporting contains inaccuracies. For instance, the final population is stated as 'by 8,009,185' rather than reaching that total, and the percentage for other districts is awkwardly stated as 'at 81, by 2000'. The overview is also weak and lacks clarity.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The response is divided into four short paragraphs, attempting an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, the logical progression is hindered by poor transitions and awkward phrasing, such as starting the second paragraph with 'In 1800, total numbers of population count was...'. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or incorrectly, particularly 'While,' and 'As,'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal organisation of ideas lacks coherence and fails to guide the reader smoothly through the statistical comparisons.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The lexical range is limited and repetitive. The student frequently misuses vocabulary and grammatical forms of words, such as 'indiviuals' (individuals), 'porprotion' (proportion), 'redeuced' (reduced), and 'rised' (rose). Collocations are often unnatural, such as 'total numbers of population count was' and 'cities like Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, and Staten Island' (referring to them as cities rather than districts). Spelling errors ('Mantattan', 'accorinding') further restrict the lexical score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The essay displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple or awkwardly constructed sentences. There are frequent and systematic errors in tense usage, article placement, prepositions, and subject-verb agreement, such as 'The each tables illustrates', 'there is an increased in numbers', and 'the porprotion was with 76%, with 60,515 population'. These errors frequently cause strain and confusion for the reader, pulling the grammar score down to the lower bands.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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