Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
A table chart presents changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables represent deffrences happend in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) by the period of during 1800, 1900 and 2000.
Overall, New York City all 5 districts population is damaticly jump from 1800 to 1900 it approx makes more then 4 time or the population. However in 1900 to 2000 the population hick but this time its only double in 100 years. In second chart it show manhatan population persentage growth in 1800 it is 60515 that make 76 persent and again in 1900 with 54 persentage followed by 2000 with 19 persentage of total population
In 3rd chart it show persentage of total population of other distic excpt manhattan.
It also increase in 1800 by 24 % moreover it take a high jump in 1900 by 46% and population make [redacted phone] followed by in 2000 with more extremly by 81%
In Conclugen, all it high
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student attempts to address the task by reporting information from the tables regarding the population of New York City and its districts from 1800 to 2000. However, the response falls short in several areas. While some key figures are mentioned (such as the 1800 population and percentages for Manhattan and other districts), the overview is weak, confused, and fails to adequately summarize the main trends. Furthermore, data interpretation is flawed in places; for example, stating that the population 'only double[d] in 100 years' between 1900 and 2000 misrepresents the jump from 3.4 million to 8 million. The description of the tables is fragmented and lacks a fully realized comparison between Manhattan and the other districts over the two-century span, landing the response in Band 5.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The organizational structure of the essay is extremely weak. The response is divided into short, disjointed paragraphs and abrupt sentences that lack logical progression. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, resulting in a very choppy reading experience. For instance, phrases like 'In second chart it show' and 'In 3rd chart it show' introduce new paragraphs mechanically rather than connecting ideas fluently. Paragraphing is haphazard, and the concluding sentence ('In Conclugen, all it high') is incomplete, incoherent, and fails to summarize the essay effectively. Referencing and logical transition between sentences are frequently faulty, consistent with a Band 4 level of coherence and cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and heavily flawed by spelling and word-choice errors. The student frequently misspells common terms, writing 'deffrences' for differences, 'damaticly' for dramatically, 'hick' for hike, 'manhatan' for Manhattan, 'persentage' for percentage, 'distic' for districts, 'excpt' for except, 'extremly' for extremely, and 'Conclugen' for conclusion. While the student attempts to use some less common quantitative terms (e.g., 'percentage growth', 'total population'), the dense cluster of spelling errors and inaccurate lexical choices ('population make 1587109') heavily strains the reader and impedes clear communication, fitting the Band 4 descriptor.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
Grammatical control is extremely weak throughout the text. The response contains numerous serious errors in sentence structure, tense consistency, and subject-verb agreement. Examples include 'A table chart presents', 'it approx makes more then 4 time or the population', 'in 1900 to 2000 the population hick', and 'in 1800 it is 60515 that make 76 persent'. There is a severe lack of error-free sentences, and complex structures are either absent or completely malformed. Punctuation and capitalization are also erratic. These persistent, frequent errors cause significant difficulty for the reader and reflect a Band 4 performance.
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