Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The graph illustrates information of a total population in New York city, Manhattan and other districts.
Overall, the New York and its all five districts is on the highest figured recorded, had increased in the population. Other districts had also increase in population and accounted on the second. Manhattan had slightly decreased in the population between 1900 to 2000.
New York City's had huge increased in the population from 79,216 to 8,009,185. The percentage in New Yor city's graph had not provided. So, it's difficult to say that how much percentage increased in New York city.
Manhattan population had increased from 1800 to 1900, but, there was slightly decreased accounted .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response attempts to summarise the provided tables on New York City population growth, but it suffers from severe limitations. First, the essay is significantly under-length at only 111 words, falling well short of the 150-word minimum requirement. This directly impacts task completion. Furthermore, the content contains factual inaccuracies and misunderstandings of the data, such as claiming that the percentage for New York City's total population was not provided when the table clearly shows the aggregate figures, and misinterpreting the proportional shifts between Manhattan and the other districts. Due to the incomplete length, lack of proper development, and misread data, this response falls into the lower bands.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The essay is divided into very short, fragmented paragraphs and single-sentence lines that lack cohesive flow. While there is a basic attempt at an introduction and a rudimentary overview, the progression of ideas is disjointed. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, such as the abrupt transitions between paragraphs. The referencing is unclear in places (e.g., 'The percentage in New Yor city's graph had not provided'), and overall, the structural organisation does not meet the standards required for clear and logical progression.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is very basic, repetitive, and restricted. Phrases like 'highest figured recorded' and 'huge increased' demonstrate a lack of precision and poor word formation. There are noticeable lexical errors, such as 'figured' instead of 'figure' and 'increased' used instead of 'increase'. The range of vocabulary is barely adequate to convey the simple ideas attempted, and the lexical limitations prevent the student from discussing the data with any degree of nuance or academic style.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
Grammatical control is weak throughout the text. The response contains frequent errors in basic sentence structure, tense usage, and morphology (e.g., 'New York City's had huge increased', 'had increased in the population', and 'there was slightly decreased accounted'). There is almost no successful use of complex sentence structures, and simple sentences often contain errors that cause strain for the reader. Punctuation and article usage are also faulty in multiple instances.
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