Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Hello. I am a explainer of this topic and here i explain the diagram of that given below the moral of the topic shows changesin the total population of New York city from 1800 to 2000 . The second and third table shows changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period. Now the time to explain the chart all five cities of New Yirk city.Years and population in 1800 population is 79,216 and in 1900 the population is 3,437,202 and at the end in 2000 the populaton is 8,009,185. Now to the final point is the city of New York city named is Mantattan year, population, As percentsge . In 1800 population is 60,515 and percentage is 76%, in 1900, 1,850,093 and percentage is 54%, in 2000,1,538,096, 19%. Other districts like (Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island)same pattren which we used is before Year, Population, As percentage in 1800, 18,701, and it 24% , in 1900, 1,587,109, and it 46%, in last 2000, 6,471,089, as 81%. Here i explain deeply now the time of checking.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response makes an attempt to address the prompt by copying parts of the rubric and listing some figures from the tables, such as the overall population in 1800 (79,216) and 2000 (8,009,185). However, it responds to the task only minimally and lacks a proper overview of the main trends. The student merely recites raw data points like 'in 1800 population is 60,515 and percentage is 76%' rather than making meaningful comparisons or highlighting key shifts, such as the dramatic growth in the outer districts compared to Manhattan. To move to a higher level, the writer needs to select the most salient features of the data, synthesize the information, and present a clear overview of the changes over the two-century period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The writing lacks effective paragraphing and logical progression, appearing instead as a single, continuous block of text cluttered with conversational meta-commentary like 'Now the time to explain the chart' and 'Here i explain deeply now the time of checking.' Cohesive devices are minimal, repetitive, or misused, with phrases functioning as awkward transitional crutches rather than natural links between ideas. The overall arrangement of information does not follow a clear, structured framework appropriate for an academic report. To achieve better coherence and cohesion, the student must organize the response into distinct paragraphs with clear introductions, body paragraphs, and overviews, utilizing appropriate cohesive devices to guide the reader smoothly through the comparisons.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used throughout the essay is very basic, highly repetitive, and heavily reliant on direct copying of words and phrases from the prompt and tables, such as 'population', 'districts', 'Year', and 'percentage'. There are noticeable errors in word forms and spelling, including 'explainer', 'changesin', 'populaton', 'Mantattan', and 'pattren', which indicate a limited control of lexical items. The range of vocabulary is inadequate for presenting numerical data effectively. To improve, the student needs to expand their vocabulary beyond simple listing, incorporating appropriate synonyms and data-reporting terminology such as 'demographic', 'proportion', 'witnessed an increase', and 'respectively'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response displays a very limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on run-on sentences strung together with coordinating conjunctions and conversational prompts. There are frequent grammatical errors involving verb tenses, such as mixing past and present reference points ('in 1800 population is...'), missing articles, and faulty prepositions within grammatical patterns. Punctuation is also problematic, with comma splices and missing periods creating confusing boundaries between clauses. To progress, the writer must practice forming accurate simple and complex sentences, maintain consistent past tense when reporting historical data, and improve control over basic sentence boundaries and subject-verb agreement.

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