Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
this diagram shows the increase population of new york from 1800 to 2000.
overall charts shows all five districts of population furthermore manhattan is highest comparison of other four districts.
district manhattan population in 1800 increase 76 percent while in 1900 jump and increased 54 percent more in total last in 2000 population 19 percent increase touch the high point at the end busy area then the other four.
the other districts brooklyn bronx queens staten island population in 1800 increased almost 24 percent furthermore in 1900 increase of more approximately 46 percent in the total so endly in 2000 highest addion in population is 81 percent and top of lead.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response only partially addresses the task requirements and falls significantly short of the minimum word count of 150 words, stopping at 111 words. While the candidate attempts to summarize the tables regarding the population of New York City and its districts from 1800 to 2000, the data is reported with inaccuracies and lacks sufficient development. For instance, the percentages provided do not accurately reflect the trends shown in the source tables, such as confusing the population counts with percentage shares. To improve, the writer needs to ensure all parts of the prompt are fully covered, maintain a higher standard of data accuracy, and meet the required word length.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
There is some basic organization in the response, but it lacks a clear overall progression. The text is divided into rudimentary paragraphs, but the logical links between sentences are frequently mechanical or inadequate, as seen with repetitive connectors like 'furthermore' and 'in 1900'. Paragraphing is not used effectively to structure the comparison between Manhattan and the other districts clearly. Referencing is sometimes confusing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of information. To reach a higher band, the writer must use a wider and more accurate range of cohesive devices and structure the comparison with clear, logical sequencing.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is limited and basic, restricting the writer's ability to discuss the data with precision. There are noticeable lexical errors and awkward word choices, such as 'increase population', 'highest addion', and 'top of lead', which cause some difficulty for the reader. The range of vocabulary is barely adequate to convey the basic message of the charts. To improve, the student should expand their lexicon of reporting verbs and nouns (e.g., using terms like 'growth', 'proportion', and 'surpass') and pay closer attention to word formation and collocation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response displays a very limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple, fragmented clauses with frequent structural errors. There is a lack of control over basic grammatical forms, including missing verbs, incorrect prepositions, and faulty tense usage, such as 'district manhattan population in 1800 increase 76 percent'. Complex structures are attempted incorrectly, and frequent errors obscure the meaning in places. To achieve a higher score, the candidate needs to demonstrate control over simple and complex sentence patterns, ensure proper subject-verb agreement, and minimize basic grammatical inaccuracies.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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