Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
THE GIVEN TABLE ILLUSTRATES THE INFORMATION ABOUT THE TOTAL POPULATION OF NEW YORK FROM 1800 TO 2000 AND CHANGES IN THE POPULATION OF FIVE DISTRICTS OF THE CITY - MANTATTAN, BROOKLYN, BRONX, QUEENS AND STATEN ISLAND IN SAME PERIOD.
OVERALL, IS IT QUITE EVEIDENT THAT TOTAL POPULATION OF THE NEW YORK CITY INCREASED DRAMATICALLY THROUGHOUT THE PERIOD, WHILT PROPORTION OF MANHATTAN POPULATION IN TOTAL POPULATION DECLINED OVERTIME. NOTABLY, POPULATION OF OTHER FOUR DISTRICTS ACCOUNTED THE HIGHEST NUMBER IN 2000.
LOOKING FIRST AT TOTAL POPULATION, IN 1800, NEW YORK CITY RECODRED 79,216, AND INCREASED DRAMITICALLY AND ACCOUNTED FOR 8,009,185 IN 2000, MAKING IT THE HIGHEST POPULATION OF THE CITY. THE FIGURE FOR MANHATTAN INCREASED SIGNIFICANTLY FROM 60,515 TO 1,850,093. DURING 1800 MANHATTN CONSTITUTED 76% OF TOTAL POPULATION, WHICH DECLINED PROGRESSIVELY.
TURNING TO THE REMAINING CATEGORIES, PROPORTION OF OTHER FOUR DISTRICTS NAMELY BROOKLY, BRONX, QUEENS AND STATEN ISLAND WERE 18,701 (24% OF TOTAL). BY CONTRAST, BY 2000, THIS POPULATION ROSE SIGNIFICANTLY REGISTERED THE HIGHEST VALUE 81%.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features of the overall population trends and making comparisons between Manhattan and the other districts from 1800 to 2000. An overview is provided, noting the dramatic overall growth and the shifting proportion of Manhattan versus the other districts. However, some ideas and details remain under-developed or imprecise. For instance, the transition in the second body paragraph jumps straight from the 1800 total figure to the 2000 figure, missing the 1900 milestone provided in the source data for the total city population. Additionally, some data points are stated generally without full elaboration, which keeps the task achievement at this level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a logical progression from an introductory paraphrase to an overview, followed by specific details in the body paragraphs. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the overall trends from the detailed figures. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. For example, the opening of the overview 'OVERALL, IS IT QUITE EVEIDENT' contains awkward phrasing and punctuation, and transitions such as 'LOOKING FIRST AT TOTAL POPULATION' are somewhat formulaic. Referencing and linking between sentences could be smoother to ensure a more natural flow throughout the response.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items and descriptive verbs such as 'dramatically', 'significantly', and 'constituted'. However, there are noticeable spelling errors ('MANTATTAN', 'EVEIDENT', 'WHILT', 'OVERTIME', 'DRAMITICALLY', 'RECODRED', 'MANHATTN', 'BROOKLY') and instances of inaccurate word choice or missing prepositions, such as 'accounted the highest number' instead of 'accounted for the highest number' and 'registered the highest value'. These errors demonstrate an attempt at a broader vocabulary range while revealing limitations in spelling and precision that prevent the score from reaching a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures such as relative clauses and comparative statements. There are, however, some recurring errors in grammar and punctuation. Examples include missing articles ('total population of the new york city' instead of 'the total population of New York City'), capitalization issues throughout the entire text, and minor structural awkwardness such as 'PROPORTION OF OTHER FOUR DISTRICTS... WERE 18,701', where a singular verb or a clearer subject phrase is required. While these errors rarely impede communication entirely, they occur with enough frequency to restrict the grammatical score to this level.
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