Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The first table illustrates the changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. While the second and third tables provied the information about the population of the five districts of the cities, namely Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island over the same period.

Overall, it can be seen that the population of the New York city over the years were rising at the peak level. Whereas, in the Manhattan city in the end year were been least population on it.

At the initial stages, In the New York City all the five districts it was begain in 1800 and there was 79,216 were low popluation compare to in 1900 there was 3,437,202 ratio. Furtheremore, in 2000, the population of New York were growing at the peak athough there was approximately, 8,009,185 on It. As a result, the popluation in the New York City in all the year rose dramatically on It.

On the other hand, the Manhattan districts in the year 1800 the population was 60,515 which was lowest to the 1990 population among on It. However, the ratio of total the highest was 76% and the lowest was 19% in the Manhattan. On account of, other four districts the population was big ratio in 2000 at 81% and the less percentage 24% in the year 1800.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the task only partially, presenting some key data points from the tables while missing important comparisons and containing several misinterpretations. For instance, the opening paragraph attempts an introduction, but the second sentence is a fragmented clause ('While the second and third tables provied the information...'). The overview states that the population of New York City was 'rising at the peak level,' which is vague, and incorrectly claims that Manhattan had the 'least population on it' in the end year (when it actually had over 1.5 million people). While the student does mention some figures such as 79,216 in 1800 and 8,009,185 in 2000, the data presentation lacks clarity and contains inaccuracies regarding district percentages and population relationships. To improve, the writer needs to select and report the main trends more accurately without relying on fragmented sentences for key comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

Information and ideas are not arranged coherently throughout the response. Although paragraphs are used to separate different parts of the data, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by awkward transitions and confusing statements. For example, phrases like 'At the initial stages, In the New York City all the five districts it was begain in 1800' create significant confusion rather than guiding the reader smoothly through the data. Cohesive devices are often used inaccurately or repetitively, such as 'Whereas, in the Manhattan city in the end year were been least population on it' and 'On account of, other four districts'. Referencing is unclear, making it difficult to follow which data points correspond to which years or districts. To achieve a higher level, the writer must ensure that sentences are logically sequenced and that cohesive ties are used naturally and accurately to establish clear progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, with noticeable errors that often cause difficulty for the reader. The student attempts some less common items such as 'dramatically' and 'percentage', but these are frequently misused in context, as seen in phrases like 'growing at the peak athough there was approximately, 8,009,185 on It' and 'the population was big ratio in 2000'. There are also frequent spelling and word form errors throughout the text, including 'provied', 'popluation', 'begain', and 'Furtheremore'. These lexical inaccuracies strain comprehension and limit the precision required for Academic Task 1. To move to a higher band, the writer needs to expand their vocabulary range, use word forms correctly, and select precise terms to describe statistical data, such as nouns like 'proportion' and verbs like 'increase' or 'surge'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response displays a very limited range of structures, with frequent errors that impede communication. While the student attempts complex sentence forms, these attempts are often faulty and ungrammatical, such as 'While the second and third tables provied the information about the population of the five districts of the cities... over the same period,' which lacks a main clause. There are frequent errors in verb forms, tense usage, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions, including 'the population... were rising', 'there was 79,216 were low popluation', and 'in the year 1800 the population was 60,515 which was lowest to the 1990 population'. Punctuation and article usage are also problematic throughout the response. To improve, the writer must focus on basic sentence construction, ensuring that every sentence contains a complete subject and verb, and work on controlling grammatical structures such as passive voice and relative clauses.

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