Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The table shows that changes in population of New York city from 1800 to 2000 and the second or third tables show changes in the population of five districts of the city their names are also mentions Manhattan,Brooklyn,Bronx,Queens,Staten Island.The information given by the table is that in 1800 total population were 79216.In 1900,total poplution icreased from 79216 to [redacted phone]. IN 2000, its increased from [redacted phone] to [redacted phone].And in others cities that are mention in table also increase the percentage like in 1800 76 percent total population.The comparison is that lot of poplution icreases.Because in 1800 poplution percent was too low like 20 percent and later on its increases to 56 percent in 1900 but later on its increases upto 86 percent.And in other districts we can see the comparison in 1800 century poplution were 24 percent in 1900 its become 46 percent.And in 2000 its become from 46 percent to 81 percent.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response fails to meet the minimum length requirement, containing only 135 words after excluding copied prompt text. It addresses the task only minimally, attempting to report the data but failing to provide a clear overview or accurately summarise the main trends. The student lists some raw figures, such as total population numbers in 1800, 1900, and 2000 (e.g., '79216' and '8009185'), but the data reporting is confused and repetitive. Furthermore, the comparisons made regarding percentages (such as '56 percent in 1900' and '86 percent') are inaccurate and do not match the source tables. To reach a higher band, the response must meet the word count requirement, present a clear overview of the main features, and accurately select and report data without factual confusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

The response lacks a clear overall progression and is written as a single, dense block of text without proper paragraphing. Information and ideas are not arranged coherently, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of data. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, resulting in repetitive and mechanical transitions such as 'And in others cities that are mention in table also increase' and 'And in other districts we can see the comparison'. Referencing between sentences is unclear, and the lack of distinct paragraphs for the introduction, overview, and body details severely hinders readability. To improve, the writer needs to organise ideas into logical paragraphs and use cohesive devices accurately to guide the reader through the comparisons.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, heavily relying on words directly lifted from the prompt such as 'population', 'districts', 'changes', and 'table'. There are noticeable errors in word choice, form, and collocation, including phrases like 'others cities' and 'poplution icreases'. Spelling mistakes are also present, such as 'poplution' and 'mentions'. The range of vocabulary is limited to simple descriptive terms, and attempts at less common items are largely unsuccessful. To achieve a higher band, the student must expand their lexical repertoire to include precise synonyms and academic vocabulary suited for describing statistical data, while ensuring correct spelling and word formation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple sentences joined clumsily by coordinating conjunctions. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'total population were 79216', 'poplution were 24 percent'), incorrect verb tenses and forms (e.g., 'its increased', 'its become'), and missing articles. Punctuation is also poorly handled, with missing spaces after periods and run-on structures. These errors occur constantly and frequently strain the reader's understanding. To improve, the writer needs to exercise better control over basic sentence construction, verb forms, and articles while incorporating a wider variety of accurate complex structures.

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