Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Here we are discussing the increase of population five districts of New York City a state of united state of America. Under discussion districts are Manthatton, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and Staten Island and ratio remain variable over the same periods in different eras which are [redacted phone].

The graph of population of district Manthatton raised with the different ratio as mentioned was 76% of the population in 1800 that was about 60575.

in 1900 in the same district the population raised over 55% of the population that was near about [redacted phone] and in 2000 The district Manthatton raise the population upto 19% that was [redacted phone].

Like the district Manthatton the population also increased in the other distric namely Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and Statten Island.

In these disctricts increase in population also remained variable but was different as to District Mathatton. in the other districts in 1800 that ratio was increased upto 24% and the poplulation raised upto 18701.

in 1900 the raise in the population was 46% and the population was [redacted phone] and in 2000 that was upto 81% and the population was [redacted phone]. it was a massive rise in the population that remain variable but constantly rising.

to pen of i can say that the overpopulation is a big challenge for whole the world.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response attempts to address the task by reporting information from the tables concerning the population of New York City and its districts across the years 1800, 1900, and 2000. However, the information is presented with limited development and numerous factual or misread data points. For example, the student writes that Manhattan's population in 1800 was about 60,575 and 1,800,93 in 1900, which reflects inaccurate transcription and manipulation of the figures provided in the prompt. Furthermore, the overview is missing, and the conclusion strays into a general essayistic statement about overpopulation rather than summarising the main trends of the charts. As a result, the response addresses the task only partially, showing limited selection of key features.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The text is divided into paragraphs, but the overall organization lacks a clear progression. While the writer attempts to group information by district, the transitions between ideas are mechanical and awkward, such as starting paragraphs with phrases like 'Here we are discussing' or 'Like the district Manthatton'. Cohesive devices are used in a very limited and sometimes repetitive manner. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of information smoothly. To improve Coherence and Cohesion, the writer needs to ensure logical sequencing of data, employ a wider range of appropriate cohesive links, and structure the report with a clear introduction, body paragraphs focusing on distinct trends, and a proper summary overview.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used throughout the response is basic and repetitive, relying heavily on words like 'population', 'district', 'increased', and 'raise'. There are also frequent spelling and word-form errors, such as 'Manthatton' instead of Manhattan, 'Statten Island' instead of Staten Island, and 'disctricts'. The student attempts less common vocabulary or phrases, but these attempts often lead to inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'ratio remain variable' or 'to pen of i can say'. These lexical limitations and errors restrict the precision of the report, meaning the vocabulary remains basic and minimally adequate for the task.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent attempts at complex clauses that turn out faulty. There are persistent errors in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions within grammatical patterns. For instance, phrases like 'the population raised over 55%' misuse transitive and intransitive verbs, and sentences often lack necessary articles or contain awkward phrasing such as 'that ratio was increased upto 24%'. Punctuation is also erratic, with inconsistent capitalization at the beginnings of sentences. These frequent grammatical errors cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect a restricted control over sentence structures.

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