Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

as we shown on the table that the new york city and all five districts city shown their all population changes in entire 5 year. firslty i have shown that the year 1800 the new york pupil are 79216 and other side in manhattan and other districts are less population so that the year 1800 major effect the new york population grown is wider that other.

futhermore next year 1900 also shown that the population of new york is same grow in the other district but aslo that the other district has also wide the popultion but in the comparition of new york these are less.

moreover taht the 2000 year the major impact the population of new york, manhattan and other districts . also they shown that the Manhattan district has very effect in the population because theses populaton are down in the difference of new york and other states.

Also, the other districts the population are high in 81%. These are the major differences in the population.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the broad subject and mention the three years, Manhattan, and the other districts, so the response is relevant to the tables. However, the main trends are not clearly or accurately reported. For example, you say the population of New York “same grow” in 1900, but the city total rose substantially from 79,216 in 1800 to 3,437,202 in 1900 and 8,009,185 in 2000. You also do not explain that Manhattan’s population peaked in 1900 and then fell, while the other districts grew to 81% of the total by 2000. The overview is unclear and several comparisons are vague or inaccurate. Select the key changes and support them with accurate figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response makes an attempt to move through the years in order, using “firstly,” “furthermore,” “moreover,” and “also.” This gives the reader some indication of sequence. However, the ideas are not arranged into clear stages or paragraphs, and the links between them are often difficult to follow. Phrases such as “the major impact the population” and “these are the major differences” do not explain what is being compared. Repeated references to “the population” also make it hard to distinguish the city total from Manhattan and the other districts. Organise the response into an introduction, a concise overview, and detail paragraphs, and use clear references such as “the city total” and “the remaining four districts.”

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with frequent reliance on “population,” “shown,” “major,” and “effect.” Some wording makes the intended meaning difficult to understand, as in “the population of New York is same grow” and “Manhattan district has very effect in the population.” There are also spelling errors, including “firslty,” “futhermore,” “popultion,” and “comparition,” which reduce clarity. You do attempt comparison language, such as “in the comparison,” and refer to percentages, but the phrasing is often inaccurate or unnatural. Build a small set of precise terms for describing tables, increases, decreases, proportions, and comparisons, and check spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response shows a very limited range of sentence structures, and frequent errors sometimes distort the intended meaning. For example, “as we shown on the table” has an incorrect verb form, while “the population of New York is same grow” lacks a grammatical structure for describing change. Subject–verb agreement and articles are also problematic in “the other districts the population are high.” Most sentences are joined into long, unclear strings, with limited control of clauses and punctuation. You do use time references such as “the year 1800” and “the 2000 year,” but these do not form accurate sentence patterns. Practise writing short, complete sentences first, then combine them using accurate past-tense verbs and clear comparison structures.

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