Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The initial table provides data on radical change in the total demographic within New York City. The next following two tables contains population of five districts city (Manhanttan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) between 1800 and 2000.

Overall, New York City includes total population of all five districts which escalated dramatically over the period. Similarly, other districts followed common pattern with increment trend in total population and its percentage value except for manhattan. Meanwhile, manhattan has fluctuation shares.

In 1800, New York City has 79,216 total size which rose abruptly after a decade, it skyrocketed to [redacted phone] total number of population in 1900. In 2000, it reached almost double the figure [redacted phone]. Furthermore, Manhattan has volatile trajectory within total population and incremental trend in percentage. In 1800, it had 18,701 total size of people which peaket at 1,850,093 in 1900 three times as large in intial. By 2000, it fell gradually to 1,[redacted phone] with 19% of total population.

Furthermore, other districts lied 18,701 size with 24% in 1800 which climbed dramatically to 1,587,109 in 1900 at 46%. In 2000, it increase six fold with 6,471,089 with 81%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall pattern: New York City’s population grew substantially, while Manhattan’s share declined and the other districts’ share increased. You also include relevant figures for all three years, so the response addresses the task. However, some comparisons are unclear or inaccurate. For example, the overview says Manhattan had “fluctuation shares,” although its percentage falls steadily from 76% to 54% to 19%. The statement that the city’s population “rose abruptly after a decade” is also misleading: the next reported year is 1900, not a decade later. In addition, the 1800 figure of 18,701 belongs to the other districts, not Manhattan. Make the overview more precise and check that each figure is assigned to the correct group.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs reporting the figures. The sequence from 1800 to 2000 is generally easy to follow, and transitions such as “Overall” and “Furthermore” help signal movement between points. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, with “Furthermore” repeated, and some references make the relationships between figures difficult to follow. For instance, “it had 18,701 total size of people” appears to refer to Manhattan, although that number describes the other districts. The overview also groups the trends imprecisely. Use clearer topic sentences for Manhattan and the other districts, and connect each comparison directly to its subject.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of vocabulary suited to describing change, including “escalated dramatically,” “skyrocketed,” “volatile trajectory,” and “climbed dramatically.” This shows an effort to avoid basic repetition. However, several choices are unnatural or imprecise for a data report: “total demographic,” “total size,” “increment trend,” and “Manhattan has fluctuation shares.” Some words also overstate or misrepresent the data; “volatile” suggests repeated changes, whereas Manhattan’s share declines steadily. Spelling errors such as “Manhanttan” and “peaket” further reduce accuracy. Prefer standard, precise collocations such as “population,” “accounted for,” “increased,” and “declined,” and check spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and some longer structures, including “which rose abruptly…” and “which climbed dramatically…,” so there is an attempt to vary sentence forms. However, errors in agreement, tense, articles, and sentence construction occur across the response. For example, “the next following two tables contains” has an agreement error, while “In 1800, New York City has” uses an inconsistent tense. The phrase “it reached almost double the figure 8009185” also needs clearer grammatical framing, and “it increase six fold” has an incorrect verb form. These errors sometimes make relationships between figures harder to understand. Use past tense consistently for the historical data and check subject–verb agreement and sentence boundaries.

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