Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The first table illustrates the changes of total population of NYC from 1800 to 2000. However, other two tables illustrate the proportions of changes in total population of five various districts of the USA.

Overall, the final year accounted the greatest number of population for NYC. Along with that, initial year accounted the least population of NYC.

In addition, the final year accounted greatets numbers of population and proportions for other districts ( Brooklyn, Bronnx, Queens, Staten island) . However, initial year accounted least numbers of population and greatest proportions for Manhatten.

Initially, the population of NYC was about 79216 which significantly grew from 79216 to [redacted phone] by the year of 2000. Along with that, initially population of Manhatten was about 60515 which significantly grew up to [redacted phone] by the year of 1900 however, by the year of 2000 it experienced a fall from [redacted phone] to [redacted phone]. Proportions of total population was about 76% initially which fell from 76 to 19% end of the year.

Initially, the population of other districts was about 18701 and proportions of total population was around 24%. In the year of 1900 it massively grew from 18700 to [redacted phone] in addition, the proportions were increased too ( around 46%). By the final year population of other districts again massively increased up to [redacted phone] along with that, the proportions of total population were almost doubled.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall contrast: New York’s total population rose substantially, while Manhattan’s share fell and the other districts’ share grew. You also include relevant figures for all three years and note Manhattan’s decline after 1900. This covers the key features and supports the response’s strong task coverage. Some details, however, are less fully reported: the total population in 1900 is omitted, and the statement that the other districts’ share “were almost doubled” by 2000 is inaccurate—the share rose from 46% to 81%, not nearly twice as much. The overview also repeats the highest and lowest years rather than clearly summarising the contrasting population trends. More precise comparisons would complete the account.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and two paragraphs describing the figures. The sequence from the earliest year to the latest is generally understandable, and linking expressions such as “In addition” and “However” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, progression is weakened by repeated statements about the initial and final years, and several transitions are mechanical or unclear. For example, “Along with that” is used repeatedly without always showing a clear relationship, while the final paragraph moves from 1900 to 2000 without a precise comparison. Grouping the figures more consistently and using clearer references to years and categories would make the organisation easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for describing data, including “population,” “proportions,” “grew,” “fall,” and “increased,” so the main information is usually understandable. However, the range is limited and several choices or collocations sound unnatural or are repeated. Phrases such as “accounted the greatest number of population,” “greatets numbers,” and “massively grew” do not express the data naturally; “had the largest population,” “highest share,” and “rose sharply” would be more suitable. There are also spelling errors in names, including “Bronnx,” “Manhatten,” and “Staten island.” More accurate, varied language for increases, decreases and shares would improve precision and reduce repetition.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses joined with “which” and “however,” and the reader can generally understand the comparisons. However, control is inconsistent, particularly in longer sentences. For example, “Overall, the final year accounted the greatest number of population” lacks a grammatical construction after “accounted,” while “Proportions of total population was” has a subject–verb agreement error. Articles and prepositions are also often missing or awkward, as in “by the year of 2000” and “end of the year.” Some sentences combine several ideas without clear punctuation, making relationships harder to follow. Build accuracy with shorter comparison sentences, then add complex clauses once the basic verb forms and sentence boundaries are secure.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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