Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The illastrat, The first table changes in the total population of new york city from 1800 to 2000. And show the second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Overall, The population growth of New york city rapidly grow both 19th century and 20 centuray. Manhattan polution grew significantly in absolute terms, and the total city population steadily decline over the first tow periods.

In the 1800, the total population of new york is 79216. Of this total Manhattan accounted for 60515 wich reprisent the percentage of 76%.

Finally in 1900, The total population of new york is [redacted phone]. Of this Manhattan accounted for [redacted phone], which peprisent the percentage of 54%.

Finally in 2000, The total population of new york is [redacted phone]. Of this Manhattan accounted for [redacted phone], which peprisent the percentage of 19%.

The total cities of Manhattan in 1800, 18701 total population as percentage of 24%. In 1900 is 1587

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the topic and report several key figures for the city and Manhattan, including the rise in the city total and Manhattan’s changing share. However, the overview is inaccurate: the city population did not decline; it increased substantially in both periods. You also say Manhattan grew in absolute terms, although its population fell between 1900 and 2000. The final paragraph is incomplete and misreports the other-district figures: 18,701 is their 1800 population, while the 1900 figure is left unfinished and the 2000 figure is omitted. The response is also below the required 150 words, with 130 words counted after excluding copied prompt wording. These omissions and misreadings leave the task only minimally addressed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, an overview and year-based paragraphs, and the repeated references to 1800, 1900 and 2000 give the reader some chronological guidance. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the overview contradicts the figures and the final paragraph stops midway through the 1900 data. Linking is also limited and sometimes awkward: “Finally” is repeated for both 1900 and 2000, while “And show” creates a fragment in the introduction. The relationship between Manhattan and the other districts is not clearly developed. Use complete paragraphs with a clear overview, then group the comparisons logically and finish each point.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some relevant task vocabulary, including “total population,” “accounted for,” “percentage” and “absolute terms,” so the subject is generally recognisable. However, the range is basic and several inaccurate or misspelled choices make the meaning harder to understand, such as “polution,” “peprisent” and “The total cities of Manhattan.” “Population growth … rapidly grow” is also an awkward collocation, and “Finally” is repeated without adding useful meaning. Aim for accurate, natural expressions for describing trends and shares, and check spelling carefully. For example, “the population rose sharply” and “accounted for 76% of the total” would express the intended information more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and a relative clause, as in “which … the percentage of 54%,” but the range of sentence structures remains very limited and errors are frequent. The opening contains sentence fragments (“And show the second and third tables…”), and the overview has faulty verb forms and agreement (“population … rapidly grow”). Articles and sentence construction are also inconsistent in phrases such as “In the 1800” and “In 1900 is 1587.” Capitalisation and punctuation, including unnecessary capitals after commas, further affect readability. Practise building complete subject–verb sentences, using past-tense verbs consistently for the historical data, and joining related information with accurate clauses.

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