Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

FIRST OF ALL, THE ALL TABLE ILLUSTRATE THE CHANGING OF POPULATION IN NEW YORK CITY AND SOME OTHER CITY OVER A TIME.

INITALLY, IN 1800 THERE WERE ONLY 79,216 PEOPLE IN NEW YORK ALL DISTRICTS BUT TILL IN 2000 THEY WERE CHANGE AND IN YEAR 2000 THEY HAVE INDIVIDUALS LIKE 8,009,185 IN ALL NEW YORK DISTRICTS.

SUBSEQUENTLY, IN MANHATTAN IN 1800 THE PERCENTAGE OF POPULATION WAS ONLY 76% ABOUT 60,515 PEOPLE.

CONSEQUENTLY, IT WERE CHANGE IN 1900 ABOUT 1,850,093 PEOPLE AND INCREASE ABOUT 54%.

MOREOVER, IN 2000 YEAR THE MANHATTAN CITY POPULATION ALSO CHANGED ABOUT 19% .

BECAUSE OF THIS, IN OTHER DISTRICT LIKE BROOKLYN,BRONX,QUEENS,STATEN ISLAND POPULATION WERE ALSO CHANGE AS THE THIRD TABLE ILLUSTRATE THE FIRST ONE IN 1800 THE POPULATION WAS ONLY 18,701 ONLY 24 % OF POPULATION .

SUBSEQUENTLY, ITS CHANGED OVER THE NEXT CENTURY AS SHOWN IN TABLE IN 1900 THE POPULATION WAS 1,587,109 ABOUT 46% INCREASE IN POPULATION.

FINALLY,IN YEAR 2000 THSES CITIES POPULATOION WAS ONLY 6,471,089 AND ALSO ENHANCEMENT IN PERCENTAGE ABOUT 81% ALL OVER.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You include figures from all three tables and identify the broad growth in the city and in the other districts. For example, you report the total as 79,216 in 1800 and 8,009,185 in 2000, and give the other districts’ 2000 population and share. However, the response mainly lists figures rather than selecting and explaining the key comparisons. It does not report the 1900 and 2000 total populations together as a clear trend, and it misses the important fact that Manhattan’s population rose to a peak in 1900 before falling by 2000, while its share declined throughout. The phrase “some other city” is also inaccurate: these are districts of New York City. A concise overview and clearer comparison of the contrasting district trends would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response follows a broadly chronological order, moving from the city total to Manhattan and then the other districts, so the reader can identify the general subject of each section. However, the ideas are presented as one continuous sequence rather than in clearly organised paragraphs, and the progression is often mechanical. Connectors such as “Consequently,” “Moreover,” “Because of this,” and “Subsequently” are repeated or do not express the relationship between the figures accurately. For instance, “Because of this” does not clearly explain why the other districts’ population changed. Group the information into an introduction, an overview, and comparison paragraphs, and use linking phrases only where they clarify a genuine contrast or time sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant terms, including “population,” “percentage,” and “district,” and the figures make the topic recognisable. However, vocabulary is limited and several word choices or collocations make the report awkward or unclear. Phrases such as “the changing of population,” “they were change,” “enhancement in percentage,” and “all over” are not natural ways to describe demographic data. “Some other city” also misidentifies the districts. Spelling errors such as “INITALLY,” “THSES,” and “POPULATOION,” along with inconsistent capitalisation, further reduce accuracy. Build a small set of precise reporting expressions—such as “the population increased,” “accounted for,” and “the share fell”—and check spelling and word forms before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to report several time points and uses some linking clauses, but sentence structures are mostly simple or awkwardly joined, and errors occur frequently. Examples include “the all table illustrate,” “there were only 79,216 people … but till in 2000 they were change,” and “it were change in 1900.” These show problems with articles, subject–verb agreement, verb forms, and sentence construction. The sentence about Manhattan in 1900 also says its population increased “about 54%,” when the intended relationship is that it accounted for 54% of the total; this wording makes the grammatical relationship unclear. Use controlled past-tense sentences, for example, “Manhattan’s population rose to 1,850,093 in 1900, representing 54% of the city total,” and check agreement and punctuation.

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