Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Three tables illustrate the variation in the number of total population of New York City and five districts of city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) from 1800 to 2000.
Overall, the table depicts the number of population in New York City which is surged over the period. Whereas, the population of Manhatten city has been getting high gradually as compare to other two tables.
On the one hand, population of New York City was 79,216 in 1800.3,355,986 indviduals added in this figure till 1900 whcih is sharp rise in the population. This number increased dramatically in 2000 with 8,009,185.
On the other hand, the population of Manhatten city was 60,515 in 1800 and increased with the
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5
The response identifies the overall rise in New York City’s population and includes some relevant figures, such as 79,216 in 1800 and 8,009,185 in 2000. However, it does not adequately summarise the district data, and the overview is inaccurate: Manhattan’s population did not keep rising, but fell from 1,850,093 in 1900 to 1,538,096 in 2000. The claim that it “has been getting high gradually” also conflicts with the changing share, which dropped from 76% to 19%. The response ends before completing its discussion of Manhattan and omits the other districts’ combined growth. It is also 33 words below the required minimum. To improve, complete the comparison across all three years and report the main shift from Manhattan to the other districts.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
There is a basic attempt to organise the report with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The phrases “Overall,” “On the one hand,” and “On the other hand” signal stages in the response, and the total-population figures are presented in chronological order. However, the progression is incomplete: the final sentence breaks off at “increased with the,” leaving the district discussion unfinished, and there is no paragraph covering the other districts. The contrast signalled by “On the other hand” is not developed into a clear comparison. Build a complete sequence: introduce the tables, give an accurate overview, then compare the total and district figures in full paragraphs, using linking expressions only where they clarify relationships.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The response uses some relevant task vocabulary, including “population,” “increased dramatically,” and “sharp rise,” so the reader can recognise the general subject and trend. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “number of total population,” “the number of population,” and “getting high gradually.” “Manhatten” and “indviduals” are also misspelled, while “figure” is vague when referring to a population total. These choices make parts of the report awkward and less precise. Use standard collocations such as “total population,” “population rose,” and “accounted for,” and check spelling carefully. More precise terms for change and proportion would help describe the tables clearly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response attempts both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast with “Whereas” and a relative clause beginning “which is sharp rise.” However, control is uneven, and several sentence patterns are incomplete or faulty. “Whereas, the population…” is not a complete contrast structure in this context, while “3,355,986 individuals added in this figure till 1900” lacks a suitable passive verb and has unclear sentence construction. The final sentence, “the population … increased with the,” is unfinished, and punctuation is missing between “1800” and “3,355,986.” These errors sometimes make relationships difficult to follow. Practise complete clauses, accurate past-tense reporting, and punctuation, then proofread each sentence for a clear subject and verb.
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