Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

"these three table displays" the population of new work city and five district of the city [manhattan, brooklyn, Bronx, queens, staten island] in percentage of total population in 1800, 1900 and 2000.

Overall, the population were increased significantly in new work city through out the period. In contrast, the percentage of population in Manhattan city was decreased and in other district the percentage of population was jump up.

From 1800 to 2000, in New Work City were a higher population and lowest were other district. In 1800 and 1900, the population of new work city higer then around 18,500 and 60,000 and 1,587,202 and 2,157,015, in all five district , Respectively.

Between Manhattan and other district, there were as percentage of Mahsttan had higher proportion by 42% and 8% then othere district in 1800 and 1900 However, the percentage of population in other country shot up from 46% to 81% in 1900 and 2000.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the broad trends: New York City’s population grew substantially, Manhattan’s share fell, and the other districts’ share rose. However, the report only partially presents the data, and several figures are inaccurate or unclear. For example, the 1900 population figures are not reported correctly, and the sentence beginning “in 1800 and 1900” does not clearly distinguish the city total from the district totals. The comparison of Manhattan’s percentage advantage is also difficult to interpret, and the 2000 figures for Manhattan and the other districts are omitted. The response is 145 words, below the 150-word minimum; the nine words copied from the prompt are not counted. Include accurate key figures and a clearer overview of the main changes.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response into an introduction, an overview and further details, and linking expressions such as “Overall,” “In contrast” and “However” show an effort to connect ideas. Nevertheless, the progression is difficult to follow because the data are grouped unclearly and some sentences do not express a complete comparison. For instance, “From 1800 to 2000, in New Work City were a higher population and lowest were other district” leaves the relationship between the city total and district populations uncertain. The final paragraph also shifts between percentage comparisons and years without a clear sequence. Use one paragraph for the overall trends, then organise details chronologically or by Manhattan versus the other districts, with each comparison stated explicitly.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a small set of relevant terms, including “population,” “percentage,” “proportion” and “increased,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, vocabulary is repetitive and several word choices or spellings make the meaning harder to understand. “New Work City” appears repeatedly instead of “New York City,” while “the percentage of population … was jump up” and “shot up” are imprecise or unsuitable for a formal data summary. “Other country” also misidentifies the other districts. Aim for accurate, formal terms such as “share,” “accounted for” and “rose,” and check the spelling of place names. More precise vocabulary would help you describe the figures and comparisons without relying on vague phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer comparisons, but control of sentence structure is limited, and frequent errors sometimes obscure the intended meaning. Examples include “the population were increased,” where the verb form and agreement are incorrect, and “in New Work City were a higher population,” which lacks a clear grammatical structure. The phrase “Manhattan had higher proportion by 42% and 8% then other district” also needs an article and a clearer comparative construction. Punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent, particularly in the long, fragmented data sentence. Practise building accurate subject–verb sentences first, then add comparisons using patterns such as “Manhattan’s share was higher than the other districts’ share.”

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