Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

These tables shows changes in the population of New York City and other districts of the city like Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and Staten Island form last 3 decade.

Moreover, they shows that the population are certainly increase last 300 years in New York City. At that time it commonly around 80 thousand in 18th century, and increase up to 3,437 thousand in 19th century, well 8,009 thousand in 2000.

Overall, the percentage are certainly increase in serval district like Manhattan with there 76% growth in 18th century, well could be loss population from 54% to 19% between 19th century and 20th century. Furthermore, other small districts put negligibal discremintion on population, in 18th century pouplation growth are funtionaly incradibal with 24% and that's increse upto 46% to 81% between 19th to 20th century. On the other hand its put some positive impact on the population.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the broad rise in New York City’s population and the shift in population share from Manhattan to the other districts, so the response is relevant to the tables. However, the summary is incomplete and some comparisons are unclear: Manhattan’s population rose from 60,515 to 1,850,093 by 1900, then fell to 1,538,096, whereas the other districts grew substantially; these absolute changes are not clearly reported. The phrase “76% growth” also misrepresents the figure, which is Manhattan’s share of the city total, not its growth rate. The overview is vague, and the final claim about a “positive impact” is unsupported. The response is also four words below the required minimum. Include a clear overview and accurately describe the main population and percentage changes.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response makes an attempt to group information, beginning with the citywide population and then discussing Manhattan and the other districts. Connectors such as “Moreover,” “Overall,” and “On the other hand” show an effort to link ideas. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the response has no clear paragraph structure and several relationships between points are confusing. For example, “On the other hand” introduces no clear contrast, while “Furthermore” and “well” do not reliably signal the intended comparisons. The final sentence is disconnected from the data. Organise the answer into a brief introduction, an overview, and focused detail paragraphs, and use linking phrases only where their logical relationship is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt some topic-related vocabulary, including “population,” “percentage,” “districts,” and “increase,” and you try to describe change over time. However, the range is basic and repeated, while frequent spelling and word-choice problems make parts of the response hard to understand. Examples include “serval,” “negligibal discremintion,” “pouplation,” and “funtionaly incradibal.” Some expressions are also unsuitable for describing the data: “76% growth” confuses a population share with a growth rate, and “positive impact” is vague and unsupported. Use precise terms such as “accounted for,” “population share,” “rose,” and “declined,” and check spelling and collocations carefully so the intended comparisons are clear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There are attempts to form longer sentences and use time references, but grammatical control is weak and errors frequently obscure meaning. For instance, “These tables shows” has subject–verb disagreement, and “the population are certainly increase” combines incorrect agreement with an incorrect verb form. “from last 3 decade” and “between 19th to 20th century” show problems with articles, plurals, and prepositions. Sentence boundaries and clause connections are also unreliable, particularly in the long sentence beginning “Overall, the percentage…”. Build accurate simple sentences first, then add controlled complex structures. Check subject–verb agreement, past-tense forms for historical data, and the grammatical patterns used with dates and comparisons.

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