Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The first table illustrates changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third table compares changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same time.

Overall, the population increased rapidly in New York. In Manhattan the population increased alot in the beginning but the figures declined over the period. The percentage of population fluctuated in other districts.

In 1800, the population in New York city was about 79,216 which increased dramatically in 1900 to approximately 3,437,202. In 2000 the figures jumped again to 8,009,185. While in Manhattan the population increased by 76% and was 60,515. The population in this district increased again by 54% and reached 1,850,093 which increased again in 2000 by 19% and became approximately 1,538,096.

In other districts, the population rose by 24% which kept climbing and increased by 46% , the figures were approximately 1,587,109. By 2000 the population jumped to 6,471,089 with an increase of 81%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the overall rise in New York City’s population and include figures for all three years, as well as data for Manhattan and the other districts. However, the overview is incomplete and partly inaccurate: Manhattan’s population rose to 1,850,093 by 1900, then fell to 1,538,096, rather than increasing “in the beginning” and declining over the whole period. The other districts’ shares did not fluctuate; they rose steadily from 24% to 81%. The response also falls short of the 150-word minimum: 133 words were counted, and 37 words copied from the prompt were excluded. These omissions and misreadings leave the task only partially addressed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic four-paragraph structure, moving from an introduction and overview to figures for Manhattan and the other districts. This gives the reader some organisation, and the years provide a simple chronological framework. However, progression is weakened by unclear links between population totals and percentages. For example, “the population increased by 76%” confuses Manhattan’s population with its share of the city total, and “the population rose by 24%” does the same for the other districts. Repeated use of “increased” and “jumped” also makes the account feel list-like. Use clearer comparisons and transitions to show how each district’s population and share changed.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a small set of relevant terms, including “total population,” “declined,” “dramatically,” and “approximately,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, vocabulary is repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “increased,” “population,” and “figures.” Some choices are imprecise for describing the data: “fluctuated” suggests rises and falls, although the other districts’ share increased at each reported date, while “increased by 76%” mislabels a percentage share as a rate of growth. Informal spelling in “alot” also reduces accuracy. Aim for more precise reporting verbs and distinguish a population count from a percentage of the total.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You produce several understandable simple sentences and attempt longer structures, such as “In 1800 … which increased dramatically in 1900.” However, the range is limited, and errors recur in sentence construction and agreement. The introduction says “The second and third table compares,” where the plural subject requires a plural verb. The sentence beginning “While in Manhattan…” is a fragment, and “which increased again in 2000 by 19%” has an unclear grammatical link between the percentage and the population figure. Punctuation around clauses and commas is also inconsistent. Practise combining comparisons into complete sentences, with clear subjects and verbs, and check agreement and clause boundaries.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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