Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The charts illustrate changes recorded in the population of the New York city alongwith with its various districts such as Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island with in two centuries .
Overall , as per the chart a substantial rise in population can be seen throughout the period in the New York city as wells as its mention districts except Manhattan . Manhattan observe a significant decline in its living resident .
New York city initial population was less than 80 thousand and later acounted for a rise of 3.3 million people with in a century . At the end of 20 century it added more 4 million citizen in all districts . 4 districts holds the proportion of 24% in 1800 later it recorded surge of 22 % in a century and a highest rise of 35 at the end of the period with in the total population .
Conversely ,Manhattan reflected a decline as compare with the total population of the city , initially it covers 76% of the population whereas it was reduced to 54 % with in a century .Later a sharp decline can be seen of 35% with in last century.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You identify the broad pattern that New York’s population grew substantially and that Manhattan’s share declined, and you compare the two periods. However, some key details are inaccurate or unclear. The four other districts’ share rose from 24% to 46% in 1900 and then to 81% in 2000; describing the changes as a “surge of 22%” and “a highest rise of 35” does not clearly distinguish percentage-point changes from percentages. The city’s population rose by about 3.36 million in the first century and 4.57 million in the second, rather than simply “more 4 million.” You also omit the important fact that Manhattan’s population itself peaked in 1900 before falling by 2000. Report the main figures precisely and distinguish population totals from shares.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a recognisable four-part structure: an introduction, an overview, and separate discussion of the city and Manhattan. This gives the reader a basic route through the information, and “Overall” and “Conversely” signal the main contrast. However, progression within the body is sometimes difficult to follow, particularly in the sentence beginning “4 districts holds the proportion of 24%,” where several changes are compressed together. Some linking is mechanical or awkward, and punctuation spacing is inconsistent. Group the figures by time period or by population versus percentage share, then use clear references such as “the other four districts” and “this proportion” to connect each comparison. This would make the organisation more coherent and the relationships between figures easier to track.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “substantial rise,” “proportion,” “decline,” and “population,” and these choices help communicate the general trends. However, the range is limited and several word combinations or forms are inaccurate, sometimes making the data difficult to interpret. For example, “living resident” is not a natural way to describe population, “added more 4 million citizen” is unclear, and “a highest rise of 35” does not specify what increased. There are also spelling and form errors such as “acounted,” “mention districts,” and “as wells.” Aim for precise terms such as “population share,” “increased by,” and “fell to,” and check spelling and collocations so that comparisons are expressed naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including the contrast introduced by “whereas” and the overview sentence beginning “Overall.” However, grammatical errors occur frequently and can make relationships between figures unclear. Examples include “Manhattan observe,” where the verb does not agree with its subject, and “4 districts holds,” which also has incorrect agreement. The sentence “New York city initial population was less than 80 thousand” lacks a possessive form, while “it covers 76% … whereas it was reduced” shifts tense and uses an unclear reference. Punctuation and spacing around commas and full stops are also inconsistent. Practise accurate past-tense reporting, subject–verb agreement, articles and possessives, and build shorter, complete sentences before combining comparisons.
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